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Storyline of a the boy life with over weight

Storyline of a the boy life with over weight GN7Lw
“I don’t blame the girls. Not at all. I get it, I get it. But I’ve always wanted a wife. And kids. And as I get older it starts to get more real—I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve always been the funny fat friend. It’s the one thing I’m good at. Making people laugh. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. Somebody is having a great time, and it’s because of me. I’ve always lived for that feeling: in elementary school, in middle school. But as I got older—something got twisted. All my jokes became about myself. When it was time to eat the cake at a birthday party, I’d joke about the size of my slice. When it was time to jump in the pool, I’d joke about taking off my shirt. I’d say: ‘The moon is coming out. ’ And it always got a laugh. Which felt good, but it kind of sucks. Because I don’t think I’ve ever taken off my shirt without making a comment. It’s my way of protecting myself. Like: ‘No asshole, you can’t make fun of me. Because I beat you to it. ’ But I think it might have fucked me up. All those jokes, all those years. Because it made everyone look at me as the fat guy. It made me look at myself as the fat guy. My twitter handle is ‘Fatrick Ewing. ’ My bio says: ‘Fat white guy with glasses. ’ It sort of became my identity. I’m just a fat, funny idiot. That’s what I think about myself. And I feel like that’s what everyone else is thinking too. Every time I’m in a waiting room, and the seat’s a little too small. Or when I walk into CVS. My anxiety gets so bad I can barely talk to the person behind the register. My therapist tells me: ‘You’re a good guy, you’re nice, who cares? ’ And she’s right, I get it. But I also think if I wasn’t fat, I’d probably have a girlfriend. But I’m trying to love myself more. Every day I’m working on it. I make deliveries for my job, and let’s say I leave my scanner in the car. My mind is immediately gonna say: ‘You’re a fat asshole. ’ But I’m trying to stop myself. I’m trying to say: ‘No, you’re not. You just forgot. People forget. ’ I’m trying to get back to Luke again. The nice, funny dude. Who loves his friends. And his family. Not Luke the fat guy. Just Luke, before he decided to bully himself. ”
“I don’t blame the girls. Not at all. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I’ve always wanted a wife. And kids. And as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more real—I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve always been the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
friend. It’s the one thing I’m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at. Making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
laugh. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. Somebody is having a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of me. I’ve always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
for that feeling: in elementary school, in middle school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
older—something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
twisted. All my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jokes
became about myself. When it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to eat the cake at a birthday party, I’d
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joke
about the size of my slice. When it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to jump in the pool, I’d
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joke
about taking off my shirt. I’d say: ‘The moon is coming out. ’ And it always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a laugh. Which felt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it kind of sucks.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
I don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
I’ve ever taken off my shirt without making a comment. It’s my way of protecting myself. Like: ‘No asshole, you can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fun of me.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
I beat you to it. ’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it might have
This word is considered offensive.
fucked
me up. All those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jokes
, all those years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it made everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "looks", "looked".
look
at me as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guy
. It made me look at myself as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guy
. My twitter handle is ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fatrick
Ewing. ’ My bio says: ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fat
white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guy
with glasses. ’ It sort of became my identity. I’m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
idiot. That’s what I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about myself. And I feel like that’s what everyone else is thinking too. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I’m in a waiting room, and the seat’s a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
. Or when I walk into CVS. My anxiety
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
I can
barely
talk to the person behind the register. My therapist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
me: ‘You’re a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guy
, you’re nice, who cares? ’ And she’s right, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
if I wasn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
, I’d
probably
have a girlfriend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
myself more. Every day I’m working on it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
deliveries for my job, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s say I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
my scanner in the car. My mind is immediately
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
say: ‘You’re a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
asshole. ’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
myself. I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to say: ‘No, you’re not. You
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
forgot.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
forget. ’ I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to Luke again. The nice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
dude. Who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
his friends. And his family. Not Luke the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guy
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
Luke,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he decided to bully himself. ”
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IELTS essay Storyline of a the boy life with over weight

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
430 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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