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water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What causes water pollution? how can we prevent this problem?

water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What causes water pollution? how can we prevent this problem? 1B6L
Our planet, under the hand of our mankind nowadays, have known to cope with lots of pollution, resulted from many factories, industrial, human’s daily life and moreover, there are various types of pollution, but the most serious type of pollution is water pollution. Over the few decades, water pollution has always been a big concern to many people. So, what are the reasons leading to this kind of problem? The answer is us. Since the time when it all begin, the time when there is no human existence, our planet is known to have as a huge biodiversity with a variety of animals. But since we exist on this planet, we started to develop from a tiny cell, to a fish and that fish started to develop further to adapt to their land life. At the first stage of the human development, they learnt to cook, make weapon out of rocks, branches woods to help them with their hunting. After a long time of evolving, we finally become who we are today, using more advanced technique than in the past time. As said “Everything comes with consequences”, although we get to use high-tech stuff, but, our earth is becoming more and more polluted. Because of the waste coming from the big factory, where high-tech equipment are produced to meet our needs and many oil-spill accident on the sea, which takes part in responsible for the water pollution. Hats not all, it also because of us littering too much, deforestation, wasting food, not knowing to recycle plastic, etc. Our planet is at risk, and needs our help. Together, we must protect our home, make it green again by using as much public transportation as possible, or we can keep ourselves healthy while moving around by bike, try to lessen to waste food by cook-enough, and most importantly, we mustn’t litter, put the strash to the right place, where it belongs.
Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
, under the hand of our mankind nowadays, have known to cope with lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, resulted from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factories, industrial, human’s daily life and
moreover
, there are various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most serious type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is water pollution.

Over the few decades, water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has always been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concern to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what are the reasons leading to this kind of problem? The answer is us. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when it all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when there is no human existence, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is known
to have as a huge biodiversity with a variety of animals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
since we exist on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to develop from a tiny cell, to a fish and that fish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to develop
further
to adapt to their land life. At the
first
stage of the human development, they
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
to cook,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
weapon out of rocks, branches woods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them with their hunting. After a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of evolving, we
finally
become who we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, using more advanced technique than in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As said “Everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with consequences”, although we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
high-tech stuff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, our earth is becoming more and more polluted.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the waste coming from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
factory, where high-tech equipment
are produced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
our needs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
oil-spill accident on the sea, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
takes part
in responsible for the water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. Hats not all, it
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of us littering too much, deforestation, wasting food, not knowing to recycle plastic, etc.

Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, and needs our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Together, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
protect our home,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it green again by using as much public transportation as possible, or we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
ourselves healthy while moving around by bike, try to lessen to waste food by cook-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, and most
importantly
, we mustn’t litter, put the
Possible spelling mistake found.
strash
to the right place, where it belongs.
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IELTS essay water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What causes water pollution? how can we prevent this problem?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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