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Watching TV is harmful for health ( agree or disagree)

Watching TV is harmful for health ( agree or disagree) Eq9qR
It is widely argued that watching TV can hurt children. Although I believe that TV is absolutely charming for every child, it has many drawbacks which threaten their health as well as wasting their time. The most compelling reason for holding to my view is that watching TV programs can have some bad effects on health condition especially in children. It is because of the physical harm through sitting down in front of the TV for a long time. To illustrate this, some health problems: eye strain, discomfort and blurred vision that are common complaints. Moreover, physical damage is not only about eyesight but also about increasing obesity among children who spend a great deal of time on watching TV programs that leads to fewer physical activities. Another reason for my position is that TV wastes children’s time and lead them to shirk their responsibilities. As TV producers try to make attractive programs, many children devote a great deal of time and energy to them. So, a child would not have extra time to take part in useful and essential activities such as doing sports, reading books and doing homework. Nor will they lose and lag their significant duties. In conclusion, Despite being entertaining, I believe that TV is a harmful trend for children since many physical disadvantages and lack of time are observed
It is
widely
argued that watching TV can hurt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Although I believe that TV is
absolutely
charming for every child, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks which threaten their health
as well
as wasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The most compelling reason for holding to my view is that watching TV programs can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on health condition
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
harm through sitting down in front of the TV for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To illustrate this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems: eye strain, discomfort and blurred vision that are common complaints.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
damage is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about eyesight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
about increasing obesity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spend a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching TV programs that leads to fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities. Another reason for my position is that TV wastes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and lead them to shirk their responsibilities. As TV producers try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
attractive programs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
devote a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a child would not have extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in useful and essential activities such as doing sports, reading books and doing homework. Nor will they lose and lag their significant duties.
In conclusion
, Despite being entertaining, I believe that TV is a harmful trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
disadvantages and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
observed
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IELTS essay Watching TV is harmful for health ( agree or disagree)

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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