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Parents currently want their children to learn a foreign language at an early ages because of its advantages

Parents currently want their children to learn a foreign language at an early ages because of its advantages 70py3
Parents currently want their children to learn a foreign language at an early ages because of its advantages. The main assistance of this tendency is higher test scores. For example, English is now a compulsory subject in Vietnam and if children have a premature start, they can collect huge knowledge. That leads to better score in English tests at school also high prizes in competitions. Moreover, it can take less time to learn a second language at young ages than being older. In fact, kids are in habit of imitate what adults have said and making mistakes cannot embarrass them but can encourage them to learn more. Last but not least, young people who learn foreign language early can have better job in the future. Most recruiters agree that they can easily have good impression on candidates who can work and communicate in multiple languages. To sum up, leaning a second language when being young is very helpful so people should learn as soon as possible.
Parents
currently
want their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at an early ages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its advantages. The main assistance of this tendency is higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
scores.
For example
, English is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a compulsory subject in Vietnam and if children have a premature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
, they can collect huge knowledge. That leads to better score in English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
at school
also
high prizes in competitions.
Moreover
, it can take less time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at young ages than being older. In fact, kids are in habit of imitate what adults have said and making mistakes cannot embarrass them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
early can have better job in the future. Most recruiters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they can
easily
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression on candidates who can work and communicate in multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. To sum up, leaning a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
when being young is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
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IELTS essay Parents currently want their children to learn a foreign language at an early ages because of its advantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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