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Is changing job provides opportunities. Did it have advantage or disadvantage

Is changing job provides opportunities. Did it have advantage or disadvantage DqaaA
In this cutting edge era, there are wide range of jobs available. Some are professional jobs and some are not. This proposal of changing jobs have some pros and cons that i will discuss in this essay. Advantages of this trend are follows. First and foremost, change in lifestyle as many people work at particular job for many years by which they can not give much time to their family and thus lead to conflicts between their personal as well as in professional but after changing job one can find suitable working hours for him. Secondly, new opportunities as many people get bored from from one job as a student, who felt bored after studying continuously for 2-3hours and for diverting their mind or for relaxation they find new things to do as nowadays people change their jobs and find new career for them which provides them better opportunities, medication, and many more On the other hand, there are ample of disadvantages. First of all, lack of knowledge as many people wants to do professional jobs which needs skill and experience which is difficult for an ordinary person as he have to join courses to learn these skills which also affect their earnings. Nextly, face challenges as in these days competition is increasing at alarming rate which makes difficult for an individual to find a favorable working environment, which make them nostalgic. To put it in nutshell, I put pen down saying changing occupation can improve life perhaps generate opportunities. Significantly, it can create problem sometimes.
In this cutting edge era, there are wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
available.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are not. This proposal of changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons that
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss in this essay.

Advantages of this trend are follows.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in lifestyle as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work at particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years by which they can not give much time to their family and
thus
lead to conflicts between their personal
as well
as in professional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
suitable working hours for him.
Secondly
, new opportunities as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored
Possible typo: you repeated a word
from from
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a student, who felt bored after studying
continuously
for 2-3hours and for diverting their mind or for relaxation they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
new things to do as nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
new career for them which provides them better opportunities, medication, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
On the other hand
, there are ample of disadvantages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, lack of knowledge as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
wants
to do professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and experience which is difficult for an ordinary person as he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
courses to learn these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
also
affect their earnings.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
, face challenges as in these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
competition is increasing at alarming rate which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
difficult for an individual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a favorable working environment, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them nostalgic. To put it in nutshell, I put pen down saying changing occupation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
life perhaps generate opportunities.
Significantly
, it can create problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.
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IELTS essay Is changing job provides opportunities. Did it have advantage or disadvantage

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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