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Watching TV improves children's outlook or it has got it's bad sides.

Watching TV improves children's outlook or it has got it's bad sides. nNBlP
Some people believe that watching TV and film make children more creative. Others believe that it would make kids less creative. Nowadays, the TV, social media and others technology stay our part life. Moreover, adults and children spend more time found of TV also they claimed that TV has a positive effect to people when others understand that also TV has an affect for humans. TV programs have a different theme, shows which with a good meaning and useful for kids to improve their educational skills, providing new knowledge or being intelligent. That TV’s entertainment programs let to them have fun, have smile in their face. Watching informative and educational shows improves children’s academic performance. Language programs or movies help to child to fluently understand sentence formations. Furthermore on TV’s show kids watching with interest the cooking, baking, art, music instill creativity stimulates the mind of children. These are encouraging them to answer their inner calling. However TV has a normal affect for children’s health. Firstly, if children spend a lot of time on TV they may lose their precious time which they could have spent on more productive tasks. Secondly, kids who spend more time in front of screen are more phones to get diagnosed with ADHD. Children might experience reduced vision that is not correctable by glasses. Finally, kids who watch too much TV are at the risk of developing obesity and others health disorder. In addition to TV shows exaggerate reality and provide a distorted view of the world. Another hand, parents can to solve that problem. For that more researchers and professors suggested how protect their daughter or son from that disease and waste their time. Firstly, they should to choose the right TV shows which is suitable to their age and can to help to learn something useful and boosting their knowledge. Secondly, limit time for kids and watch TV with kids to monitor the content and finally, keep TV sets away from the bedroom.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that watching TV and film
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more creative. Others believe that it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
less creative.

Nowadays, the TV, social media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
technology stay our part life.
Moreover
, adults and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
found of TV
also
they claimed that TV has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when others understand that
also
TV has an
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
for humans.

TV programs have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
theme,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
which with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
meaning and useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, providing new knowledge or being intelligent. That TV’s entertainment programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
to them have fun, have smile in their face. Watching informative and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
academic performance. Language programs or movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to child to
fluently
understand sentence formations.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
on TV’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
watching with interest the cooking, baking, art, music instill creativity stimulates the mind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. These are encouraging them to answer their inner calling.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
TV has a normal
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health.
Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on TV they may lose their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which they could have spent on more productive tasks.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
who spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of screen are more phones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diagnosed with ADHD.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
might experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
vision
that is
not correctable by glasses.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
too much TV are at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing obesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
health disorder.
In addition
to TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
exaggerate reality and provide a distorted view of the world.

Another hand, parents can to solve that problem. For that more researchers and professors suggested how protect their daughter or son from that disease and waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Firstly
, they should to choose the right TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
which is suitable to their age and can to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to learn something useful and boosting their knowledge.
Secondly
, limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to monitor the content and
finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
TV sets away from the bedroom.
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IELTS essay Watching TV improves children's outlook or it has got it's bad sides.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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