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Mony peop,e believe lhol lodoy fhere is o genercl increose in socio, behoviour ond ldck of respecf for ofhers. Whot might coused lhis siluofion? How lo improve il

Mony peop, e believe lhol lodoy fhere is o genercl increose in socio, behoviour ond ldck of respecf for ofhers. Whot might coused lhis siluofion? How lo improve il MlgQ9
It is unfortunate that in the midst of vast progress in every field of life there is also a groMh in the anti-social behaviour and people have become less respectful of each other. This essay intends to analyze some causes of this phenomenon and suggest some ways to ameliorate the situation. Today, we live in an era of technology in which the whole Earth has shrunk and become a global village. Everybody is connected to everybody through telephone lines and the lnternet, but the warmth of relationships has taken a back seat. Most people have more than enough wealth, comfort and freedom, but their hearts desire even more. To satisfy their hearts greed people have become workaholics, and as a result have no time for family and friends. People have become selfish, isolated and indifferent. Each person is busy in his own quest for more. To add to it, the youngsters who are at ease with the new technology think that the elderly are good for nothing and that is why they don't respect them. The changing family structure is another big cause of this phenomenon. Earlier, people lived in joint families and the grandparents were there to supervise the children. Now there are nuclear families in which both parents go out to work, and children are left unattended in the hands of pervasive media like the TV and the lnternet. No one monitors what they watch and they see the programs full of violence and crime, which makes them anti social. The pressure of consumerist society and peers also breeds anti social behaviour. To add to it, the values of traditional culture are being lost and people are following the global culture, which is also considered anti social by the orthodox elderly. There are many solutions to this problem. To begin with, people have to learn to strike a balance between work and family life. Government should also fix the maximum hours a worker can work per week so that exploitation is not there in the job market. People should revert back to the old joint family system. This would be in the beneflt of all. The children would learn moral values and the elderly would be well looked after. Negative effects of excessive consumerism should be taught to the people. Media can play a big role in highlighting the good points of the traditional and the western culture so that the people can adopt good social values. Neighbourhood associations should be set up to connect people to each other. Summing up, anti social behaviour and mutual lack of respect in today's times can be dealt with by taking simple measures, and individuals and governments should collectively take these steps.
It is unfortunate that in the midst of vast progress in every field of life there is
also
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
groMh
in the anti-social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less respectful of each other. This essay intends to analyze
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


causes of this phenomenon and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to ameliorate the situation.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an era of technology in which the whole Earth has shrunk and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a global village.

Everybody
is connected
to everybody through telephone lines and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lnternet
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the warmth of

relationships has taken a back seat. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
wealth, comfort and freedom,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their hearts desire even more. To satisfy their hearts greed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
workaholics, and as a

result have no time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
selfish, isolated and indifferent. Each

person is busy in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
quest for more. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to it, the youngsters who are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
with the new

technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the elderly are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for nothing and
that is
why they don't respect them.

The changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cause of this phenomenon. Earlier,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in joint

families and the grandparents were there to supervise the children.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
there are nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in

which both parents go out to work, and children are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unattended in the hands of pervasive media like

the TV and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lnternet
. No one monitors what they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
watch and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the programs full of violence and

crime, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anti
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
. The pressure of consumerist society and peers
also
breeds
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
anti social


Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to it, the values of traditional culture are
being lost
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are following the global

culture, which is
also
considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anti
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
by the orthodox elderly.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions to this problem. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn to strike a balance between

work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the maximum hours a worker can work per week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that

exploitation is not there in the job market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
Consider using "revert".
revert back
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
system. This

would be in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
beneflt
of all. The children would learn moral values and the elderly would be well looked

after.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
effects of excessive consumerism should
be taught
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Media can play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role

in highlighting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points of the traditional and the western culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can adopt

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Neighbourhood' is British English.
Neighbourhood
associations should
be set
up to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to each other.

Summing up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anti
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and mutual lack of respect in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's times can
be dealt
with by taking

simple measures, and individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
collectively
take these steps.
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IELTS essay Mony peop, e believe lhol lodoy fhere is o genercl increose in socio, behoviour ond ldck of respecf for ofhers. Whot might coused lhis siluofion? How lo improve il

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
451 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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