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Watching television is good or bad?

Watching television is good or bad? gA0L1
Television is commonly believed to be the main source of entertainment in many homes. Compared to a few decades ago, today almost every home has a television set. Some people think that TV brings more fun to an individual’s life, but others that believe watching TV is a waste of time. In my opinion, watching TV is good if we can limit the amount of time spend on this activity. On the one hand, television has evolved from what it used to be a couple of years back. Today there are numerous informative channels that children and adults can benefit from. People are updated with information from around the world through live 24 hours news channels. Channels like Discovery, BBC, and National Geographic provide information and knowledge to kids and it can be helpful for their science classes and other subjects. Secondly, television brings all family members to the living room. Today, with the help of technology, a plethora of online movie apps are present on modern televisions. For example, apps such as Netflix, Amazon Prime and many more bring the latest movies to home and it makes watching movies fun at home with family instead of going to movie halls which is expensive nowadays. Therefore, television is playing a major role in making families happy and providing valuable information to kids and adults. On the other hand, television can become a spoiler, when people do not set limit on the time spent in front of it. Individuals spend numerous hours watching TV which makes them lazy and unhealthy. For example, children spend a lot of their time watching cartoons and other movies today. They should be encouraged to engage in outdoor games so that they become healthy and not lazy. To conclude, television can be beneficial if a person limits the amount of time spent in front of it. If too many hours are spent on viewing TV then it is wasting one’s time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is
commonly
believed to be the main source of entertainment in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. Compared to a few decades ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
almost every home has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
set.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that TV brings more fun to an individual’s life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others that believe watching TV is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion, watching TV is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
if we can limit the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spend on this activity.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has evolved from what it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a couple of years
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "backs"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'back' is not always incorrect.)
back
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
there are numerous informative channels that children and adults can benefit from.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are updated
with information from around the world through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
24 hours news channels. Channels like Discovery, BBC, and National Geographic provide information and knowledge to kids and it can be helpful for their science classes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
brings all family members to the living room.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology, a plethora of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
apps are present on modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
.
For example
, apps such as Netflix, Amazon Prime and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more bring the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to home and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
fun at home with family
instead
of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
halls which is expensive nowadays.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is playing a major role in making families happy and providing valuable information to kids and adults.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can become a spoiler, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not set limit on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent in front of it. Individuals spend numerous hours watching TV which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them lazy and unhealthy.
For example
, children spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching cartoons and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
. They should
be encouraged
to engage in outdoor games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they become healthy and not lazy.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can be beneficial if a person limits the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent in front of it. If too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours
are spent
on viewing TV then it is wasting one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Watching television is good or bad?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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