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Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people walking these days. what are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem? v.1

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people walking these days. what are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem? v. 1
Physical exercises play a vital role to remain fit and live a healthy life. These activities improve blood circulation in the body. According to health professionals, Footslog is the best way to maintain health. But from the past few years, people have quit it completely. So, I shall discuss the reasons behind this also give some solutions to sort out this obstacle. To commute with, people are walking less due to many reasons. Firstly, due to availability of transport either public or private, human believe that by using transportation they can save their valuable time. Secondly, weather also plays an important role and people find it hard to walk in extreme hot or cold climate conditions. Thirdly, these days, many fitness centres have opened I almost every district. Individuals go to these centres and use different equipments to walk or jog, like treadmills. Moreover, the street crime rate is also increasing. So, walking alone on the streets is a risky activity. Furthermore, lack of awareness about step out in people is also one of the main reasons to less walk. In order to tackle this problem, the government should organise health awareness programs, so that humans have knowledge about the importance of a walk. In addition, to motivate people to walk more, one can make walking tracks covered with shades. Apart from this, parks should be made in every corner of the cities, so that people feel refreshed after going there. To conclude, it is medically proven that walking is the best exercise to acquire right balance in body structure. Whether strolling is a time consuming activity, but one should do it to stay healthy and fit.
Physical exercises play a vital role to remain fit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life. These activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
blood circulation in the body. According to health professionals,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Footslog
is the best way to maintain health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
from the past few years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have quit it completely.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I shall discuss the reasons behind this
also
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to sort out this obstacle.

To commute with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are walking less due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
Firstly
, due to availability of transport either public or private, human believe that by using transportation they can save their valuable time.
Secondly
, weather
also
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
in extreme hot or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climate conditions.
Thirdly
, these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
have opened I almost every district. Individuals go to these
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
equipments to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
or jog, like treadmills.
Moreover
, the street crime rate is
also
increasing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, walking alone on the streets is a risky activity.
Furthermore
, lack of awareness about step out in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
also
one of the main reasons to less walk.

In order to tackle this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
health awareness programs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that humans have knowledge about the importance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
.
In addition
, to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
more, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
walking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
covered with shades. Apart from this, parks should
be made
in every corner of the cities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel refreshed after going there.

To conclude
, it is
medically
proven that walking is the best exercise to acquire right balance in body structure. Whether strolling is a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
activity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one should do it to stay healthy and fit.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people walking these days. what are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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