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Describe disadvantages and advantages of studying abroad? v.1

Describe disadvantages and advantages of studying abroad? v. 1
There is a growing trend toward studying overseas. Some people might argue that this could have adverse effects, some are more justifiable to conclude that studying abroad could have positive development. On the one hand, it is apparent that studying abroad has many benefits regarding the development of the student. From a personal perspective, students could broaden their horizons by studying in a multi-cultural environment. Since students have to approach other cultures and interact with other foreign peers regularly, they could learn about other foreign cultures, traditions, and cuisine. Furthermore, students have the opportunity to approach the leading educational system. Exceptional students from developing countries might seek for these educational systems in favour of state-of-the-art infrastructure and cutting-edge technology, ensuring they could to have fulfilled education experiences and acquire themselves with proper knowledge and a bright career prospects. On the other hand, it does not necessarily mean that studying abroad doesn’t have its drawbacks. First and foremost, many impoverished households find study abroad expensive, if not exorbitant. These households would have to cope with the excessive workload in order to pay for the tuition fee, which in turn could affect their well-being. For example, a prestigious school such as Havard has its tuition fees up to 50, 000$ per year, of which some households are simply unable to afford it. To take this matter to a greater extent, staying away from their parents and coping with overseas educational courses, some students finds it difficult to remain stress-free. They could have depression and anxiety, each of which might are not fully aware of their parents, which could result in disastrous repercussions such as suicide. In conclusion, although studies abroad may be beneficial for students who want to broaden their horizons and acquire themselves with the exceptional educational system, it could have its drawbacks such as the tuition fees or the likelihood of having depression and anxiety.
There is a growing trend toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that this could have adverse effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are more justifiable
to conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

On the one hand, it is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits regarding the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. From a personal perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could broaden their horizons by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a multi-cultural environment. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures and interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
foreign peers
regularly
, they could learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
foreign cultures, traditions, and cuisine.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the opportunity to approach the leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system. Exceptional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
might seek for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
systems in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of state-of-the-art infrastructure and cutting-edge technology, ensuring they could to have fulfilled education experiences and acquire themselves with proper knowledge and a bright career prospects.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it does not
necessarily
mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
doesn’t have its drawbacks.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impoverished households find study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
expensive, if not exorbitant. These households would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with the excessive workload in order to pay for the tuition fee, which in turn could affect their well-being.
For example
, a prestigious school such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Havard
has its tuition fees up to 50,
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$000".
000$
per year, of which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
households are
simply
unable to afford it. To take this matter to a greater extent, staying away from their parents and coping with overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
courses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
finds it difficult to remain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free. They could have depression and anxiety, each of which might are not
fully
aware of their parents, which could result in disastrous repercussions such as suicide.

In conclusion
, although studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
may be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who want to broaden their horizons and acquire themselves with the exceptional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system, it could have its drawbacks such as the tuition fees or the likelihood of having depression and anxiety.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe disadvantages and advantages of studying abroad? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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