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Violence in the media promote violence in society. To what extent do you agree? .

Violence in the media promote violence in society. . 2b5AM
The impact of mass media brutality on the public has become ubiquitous. Aggression reaches out to people not only from television, newspaper or movies but also from the internet and video games. Intense scrutiny from American psychological studies has described, continuous watching of violent programs does develop aggressive thoughts and behaviour in individuals. From my perspective, although media plays an important role I strongly agree it associates with negative influence on the viewers. This essay will discuss in details. At first glance, certain content from the visual media have an enormous effect on young viewers’ mind and stimulate them to imitate the character to be aggressive. Prolonged exposure to the brutality and crime scene had provided the idea that violence is powerful and exciting. As a result, crime and murder rates have increased among teenagers and young adults. For example, in America average number of victims dying of gunshot at least 4000 people every year. Those criminals who involved in such case are extremely addicted to thriller and crime action movies. They exactly follow what has screened in the films. likewise, ferocity from television and movies research also contextualized that video games provide an opportunity to be physically aggressive. For example, boys who playing video games often found kicking, shoving and hitting each other. There was an incident that occurred in America t where two students entered a college with fire armed, murdered twelve students and injured a teacher. It cannot be denied both of them were influenced by a video game called “Doom”. They desired to hurt their enemies who attacked them. Undoubted, parent’s ignorance of video games is the main reason that allows children to act recklessly which cause determinate repercussion on society. In conclusion, media violence has indeed corrupted our community. I believe is essential to impose censoring and restriction for inappropriate scenes and games, so it will desensitize negativism.
The impact of mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
brutality on the public has become ubiquitous. Aggression reaches out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from television, newspaper or movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Intense scrutiny from American psychological studies has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
, continuous watching of violent programs does develop aggressive thoughts and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in individuals. From my perspective, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it associates with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on the viewers. This essay will discuss in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

At
first
glance, certain content from the visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have an enormous effect on young viewers’ mind and stimulate them to imitate the character to be aggressive. Prolonged exposure to the brutality and crime scene had provided the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that violence is powerful and exciting.
As a result
, crime and murder rates have increased among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and young adults.
For example
, in America average number of victims dying of gunshot at least 4000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
every year. Those criminals who involved in such case are
extremely
addicted to thriller and crime action movies. They exactly follow what has screened in the films.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likewise
, ferocity from television and movies research
also
contextualized that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
provide an opportunity to be
physically
aggressive.
For example
, boys who playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
found kicking, shoving and hitting each other. There was an incident that occurred in America t where two students entered a college with fire armed, murdered twelve students and injured a teacher. It cannot
be denied
both of them
were influenced
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game called “Doom”. They desired to hurt their enemies who attacked them. Undoubted, parent’s ignorance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is the main reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
children to act
recklessly
which cause determinate repercussion on society.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
violence has
indeed
corrupted our community. I believe is essential to impose censoring and restriction for inappropriate scenes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will desensitize negativism.
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IELTS essay Violence in the media promote violence in society. .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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