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In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society? yXPEP
In the current era, it has been observed an upward trend in the numbers of elderly wouldwide. I believed that this development brought more drawbacks than benefits and the reasons behind my inclination are articulated in trailed paragraphs. To embark with, increase in ratio of older people have several negative effects on economy and society. Consequently, people get older and got retired after that government has to provide pension to them. It will affect the national budget. Moreover, increase in pension nominees can be observed along with less workers left on the workplace. However, several health problems can be observed with growing age and owing to this government has to provide some health benefit assistance and it will raise the demand of medical treatment. Because of that, taxes can be raised. Paradoxically, with certain drawbacks, it have some benefits too. Elderly can be a good teacher as well as role model for children and they can learn moral values and manners from them. In the current era, most of the parents are working therefore, they can be good care takers of the juvenile. Furthermore, by sharing their life long experience they can be great advisor as well as can teach certain skill such such as decision making, logical thinking and many more. These skills are essential in certain circumstances in life. By agglomerating all the points elaborated above, it can be concluded that although, the growth of elder people have several benefits, the drawbacks can not be neglected.
In the
current
era, it has
been observed
an upward trend in the numbers of elderly
wouldwide
. I believed that this development brought more drawbacks than
benefits
and the reasons behind my inclination
are articulated
in trailed paragraphs.

To embark with, increase in ratio of older
people
have several
negative
effects on economy and society.
Consequently
,
people
get
older and
got
retired after that
government
has to
provide pension to them. It will affect the national budget.
Moreover
, increase in pension nominees can
be observed
along with
less
workers
left
on the workplace.
However
, several health problems can
be observed
with growing age and owing to this
government
has to
provide
some
health
benefit
assistance and it will raise the demand of medical treatment.
Because
of that, taxes can
be raised
.

Paradoxically
, with certain drawbacks, it
have
some
benefits
too. Elderly can be a
good
teacher
as well
as role model for
children and
they can learn moral values and manners from them. In the
current
era, most of the parents are working
therefore
, they can be
good
care takers of the juvenile.
Furthermore
, by sharing their life long experience they can be great advisor
as well
as can teach certain
skill
such such
as
decision making
, logical thinking and
many
more. These
skills
are essential in certain circumstances in life.

By agglomerating all the points elaborated above, it can
be concluded
that although, the growth of elder
people
have several
benefits
, the drawbacks can not
be neglected
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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