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Violence in media causes violence in society

Violence in media causes violence in society Mojm6
Media had become one of the major intermediater around the world. The destructiveness in the media can enhance the violence in the community. Although, media can be the foremost promoter of violence, i opine that there are several other benefits for the society that this violence can provide To commence with, violence can be occurred when the media promotes unreliable or unrealistic news. Media often uses fake measures to promote themself which further can result in the occurrence of destructiveness. The bad environment all around the media can result in many fights between the supporters and competitors. For instence the study conducted by the Yale university demonstrates that the nation in which media promotes violence more crimes and hate among the people in the society as compared to those communities where media promote peace. Thus, it can be seen that media can cause violence in the environment. On the other hand, media can also be effective for raising up the voice for the public. Violence in India promoted by the media against farmers resulted many of youngsters to come forward and fight for their rights. Violence can result in raising up thr enthusiasm, nobility and power to fight for the best. Therefore violence can also be beneficial for many sections in the society. To recapitulate, violence can be destructive as it makes peace unstable, however it can also promote the courage to fight for our rights.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
had become one of the major
Possible spelling mistake found.
intermediater
around the world. The destructiveness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the community. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be the foremost promoter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
opine that there are several other benefits for the society that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
can provide To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
can
be occurred
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You should probably use "promote".
promotes
unreliable or unrealistic news.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
fake measures to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promote
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
which
further
can result in the occurrence of destructiveness. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
environment all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fights
between the supporters and competitors. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
instence
the study conducted by the Yale university demonstrates that the nation in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "promote".
promotes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
more crimes and hate among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the society as compared to those communities where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promote
peace.
Thus
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the environment.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can
also
be effective for raising up the voice for the public.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violence
in India promoted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
against farmers resulted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fight
for their rights.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violence
can result in raising up
Possible spelling mistake found.
thr
enthusiasm, nobility and power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fight
for the best.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
can
also
be beneficial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sections in the society. To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
can be destructive as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
peace unstable,
however
it can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promote
the courage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fight
for our rights.
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IELTS essay Violence in media causes violence in society

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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