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View on 21st century generation

View on 21st century generation 2aABj
Nowadays, more and more children have higher Body Mass Index(BMI) than ever before, owing to their sedentary lifestyle and habit of binge eating, which can result in various health consequences and increase in medical expenses. However, some measures can be taken by school authorities and parents in order to combat the problem of obesity. To commence with, lack of physical activity is the primary reason of obesity. Due to advancements in technology, they prefer to play indoor games in thd confined environment of their homes rather than playing outdoor sports with their peer group. Another contributing factor is their highly unbalanced diet. The huge availability of junk food outlets at an affordable prices along with their addictive nature, trigger craving among young ones. Nevertheless, it is not an insurmountable problem, it can be solved by joint efforts of educational management and guardians. Some sports ought to be made compulsary in schools so as to involve students in physical activities. Parents should also keep check on the diet of their children and try to replace the fast food with the home made nutritious meals. In conclusion, every other child in this contemporary world is the victim of obesity and can be detrimental for one's health. The lifestyle and diet are the typical reasons for this and can be solved by teachers and family.
Nowadays, more and more children have higher Body Mass Index(BMI) than ever
before
, owing to their sedentary lifestyle and habit of binge eating, which can result in various health consequences and increase in medical expenses.
However
,
some
measures can
be taken
by school authorities and parents in order to combat the problem of obesity.

To commence with, lack of physical activity is the primary reason of obesity. Due to advancements in technology, they prefer to play indoor games in
thd
confined environment of their homes
rather
than playing outdoor sports with their peer group. Another contributing factor is their
highly
unbalanced diet. The huge availability of junk food outlets at an affordable
prices
along with their addictive nature, trigger craving among young ones.

Nevertheless
, it is not an insurmountable problem, it can
be solved
by joint efforts of educational management and guardians.
Some
sports ought to
be made
compulsary
in schools
so as to
involve students in physical activities. Parents should
also
keep
check
on the diet of their children and try to replace the
fast
food with the home made nutritious meals.

In conclusion
, every other child in this contemporary world is the victim of obesity and can be detrimental for one's health. The lifestyle and diet are the typical reasons for this and can
be solved
by teachers and family.
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IELTS essay View on 21st century generation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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