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Vietnam's economy is now expanding extremely rapidly and people's revenue has improved significantly. Furthermore, in modern life, "eating well and dressing well" is a goal. Those that are aware of fashion have a desire to enhance their appearance and demonstrate respect for others. Women in Vietnam typically do not have a wide range of fashion options to wear at home or at work, such as a basic suit or a uniformly designed office dress. According to the poll, most women working 8 - 12 hours a day in contemporary culture, then spending time looking after the family, such as housekeeping, children, etc. Customers have a very high aesthetic level with such an increase in demand. As a result, comfortable and appealing home fashion, as well as elegant and luxurious office fashion, will help women feel much more confident. That's when fashion takes over.

Vietnam's economy is now expanding extremely rapidly and people's revenue has improved significantly. Furthermore, in modern life, "eating well and dressing well" is a goal. Those that are aware of fashion have a desire to enhance their appearance and demonstrate respect for others. Women in Vietnam typically do not have a wide range of fashion options to wear at home or at work, such as a basic suit or a uniformly designed office dress. According to the poll, most women working 8 - 12 hours a day in contemporary culture, then spending time looking after the family, such as housekeeping, children, etc. Customers have a very high aesthetic level with such an increase in demand. As a result, comfortable and appealing home fashion, as well as elegant and luxurious office fashion, will help women feel much more confident. That's when fashion takes over. eRm2J
Vietnam's economy is now expanding extremely rapidly and people's revenue has improved significantly. Furthermore, in modern life, "eating well and dressing well" is a goal. Those that are aware of fashion have a desire to enhance their appearance and demonstrate respect for others. Women in Vietnam typically do not have a wide range of fashion options to wear at home or at work, such as a basic suit or a uniformly designed office dress. According to the poll, most women working 8 - 12 hours a day in contemporary culture, then spending time looking after the family, such as housekeeping, children, etc. Customers have a very high aesthetic level with such an increase in demand. As a result, comfortable and appealing home fashion, as well as elegant and luxurious office fashion, will help women feel much more confident. That's when fashion takes over. Fashion is about expressing yourself via your clothing. I chose to develop a fashion business model using smooth silk fabric with my enthusiasm for fashion and my obtained experience, it has exquisite, seductive, and comfy designs. roof. And COBLE is here to help you because of this. Because, like you, we like gorgeous silk fashion designs with distinct characteristics. COBLE constantly provides clients with the greatest, most attractive, and most comfortable items to meet the need to pick an item of work fashion and home wear. However, my strategy will still have deficiencies because of time limitations and insufficient expertise. In order to make this program full and successful, I want to get comments from your teacher. Thank you a very lot. Thank you very much.
Vietnam's economy is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
expanding
extremely
rapidly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's revenue has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
.
Furthermore
, in modern life,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
eating well and dressing well
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is a goal. Those that are aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
have a desire to enhance their appearance and demonstrate respect for others. Women in Vietnam
typically
do not have a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
options to wear at home or at work, such as a basic suit or a
uniformly
designed office dress. According to the poll, most women working
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
8 - 12
hours a day in contemporary culture, then spending time looking after the family, such as housekeeping, children, etc. Customers have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high aesthetic level with such an increase in demand.
As a result
, comfortable and appealing home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
,
as well
as elegant and luxurious office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
women feel much more confident. That's when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
takes over.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fashion
is about expressing yourself via your clothing. I chose to develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
business model using smooth silk fabric with my enthusiasm for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and my obtained experience, it has exquisite, seductive, and comfy designs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
roof
. And
Possible spelling mistake found.
COBLE
is here to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
because of this
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, like you, we like gorgeous silk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
designs with distinct characteristics.
Possible spelling mistake found.
COBLE
constantly
provides clients with the greatest, most attractive, and most comfortable items to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the need to pick an item of work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and home wear.

However
, my strategy will
still
have deficiencies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of time limitations and insufficient expertise. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this program full and successful, I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
comments from your teacher. Thank you a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lot. Thank you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much.
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IELTS essay Vietnam's economy is now expanding extremely rapidly and people's revenue has improved significantly. Furthermore, in modern life, "eating well and dressing well" is a goal. Those that are aware of fashion have a desire to enhance their appearance and demonstrate respect for others. Women in Vietnam typically do not have a wide range of fashion options to wear at home or at work, such as a basic suit or a uniformly designed office dress. According to the poll, most women working 8 - 12 hours a day in contemporary culture, then spending time looking after the family, such as housekeeping, children, etc. Customers have a very high aesthetic level with such an increase in demand. As a result, comfortable and appealing home fashion, as well as elegant and luxurious office fashion, will help women feel much more confident. That's when fashion takes over.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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