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Most people believe that the best way to spend holidays is by going abroad, staying at a hotel and enjoying the local attractions. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Most people believe that the best way to spend holidays is by going abroad, staying at a hotel and enjoying the local attractions. 3x235
Nowadays, due to lot of availability of travel options majority of people goes overseas for vacations to spend their leisure time and have fun. I completely disagree with this opinion and think we should emphasis on local travelling ahead of going abroad. To begin with, I believe that people have to first explorer their own country and understand its geographical nature before travelling other countries. Local tourism helps travelers own country to grow the economy as most of the tourist spend lot of money in leisure activities that help increase the revenue and contribute towards their nation progress. For example, people travelling increases the demand of hospitality industry and generate employement to the nearby travel destinations. Furthermore, there is lot of trouist destinations in every country which travelers can visit and explore the beauty of that place before travelling abroad. Moreover, due to growing demand of a tourist destination it will attract local gorverment body attention and they will focus on improving the infrastrucuture of that and surrounding areas. This will help improve the standard of life of living for localities. For instance, in India there is lot of interest in temple visits and this has helped improved the infrastructure of that cities and there local bodies are more focused towards improving them. To add up, not all travels can afford high packages to travel abroad so they will be touring local places for in thier free time. To conclude, I stongly believe that local tourism is more beneficial than travelling abroad because it helps improve local economy as well as better knowledge of their own country.
Nowadays, due to
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
options
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
goes overseas for vacations to spend their leisure time and have fun. I completely disagree with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should
Did you mean "emphasize" (American English) or "emphasise" (British English)?
emphasis
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
ahead of going abroad.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
first
explorer their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and understand its geographical nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
travelers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to grow the economy as most of the tourist spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money in leisure activities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
increase the revenue and contribute towards their nation progress.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
increases the demand of hospitality industry and generate
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
to the nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
destinations.
Furthermore
, there is
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
trouist
destinations in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which travelers can visit and explore the beauty of that place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad.

Moreover
, due to growing demand of a tourist destination it will attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Possible spelling mistake found.
gorverment
body
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
attention and
they will focus on improving the
Possible spelling mistake found.
infrastrucuture
of that and surrounding areas. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standard of life of living for localities.
For instance
, in India there is
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
interest in temple visits and this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the infrastructure of that cities and there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
bodies are more focused towards improving them. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
can afford high packages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will be touring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
places for in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
free time.

To conclude
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
stongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
tourism is more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy
as well
as better knowledge of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay Most people believe that the best way to spend holidays is by going abroad, staying at a hotel and enjoying the local attractions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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