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A lot of children these days start working quite early write after their scholling pursue corresponding education .do you think it is positive or negative trend ?

A lot of children these days start working quite early write after their scholling pursue corresponding education. do you think it is positive or negative trend? BM1q5
Career is undoubtedly indispensible to establish in order to lead a prosperous life. Nowdays plenty of have initiated with their employment in tender age after with irregular study. Nonetheless, I believe this wellwether is a unworthy trend along with its justifications will be elucidated of my standpoint in upcoming paragraphs. Although, acquiring job is important there have been multifarious rationals reckoned to be negative due to abundant of burden on children. To elaborate this, the significants of life like psychological and social development make it hamper which is not provide ease to people. To exemplify, it is observed by expertees that 15%children prefer employment over their education which make obstacle for their entire growth. Thus, students who start working in their early age undergoes a lot of pressure. Futhermore, another cogent cause which justifies the scenario of correspondence study would make barrier to decide a permanent stream. To explain, even though obtain job is helpful for long term experience, still it would not only effect students work productivity but their future also. To cite an example, there are number of streams that require practical work which is difficult due to irregular education. Therefore, if children start work in their tendor age, it would be complicated for themselves to balance both their fields. Conclusively, inconsideration to above articulate it is ostensible that owing to the deviation from stream and earlier burden in tender age bellwether of working with irregular education is negative in nature.
Career is
undoubtedly
indispensible
to establish in order to lead a prosperous life.
Nowdays
plenty
of have initiated with their employment in tender
age
after with irregular study. Nonetheless, I believe this
wellwether
is
a
unworthy trend along with its justifications will
be elucidated
of my standpoint in upcoming paragraphs.
Although
, acquiring job is
important
there have been multifarious rationals reckoned to be
negative
due to abundant of burden on children. To elaborate this, the
significants
of life like psychological and social development
make
it hamper which is not
provide
ease
to
people
. To exemplify, it
is observed
by
expertees
that 15%children prefer employment over their education which
make
obstacle for their entire growth.
Thus
, students who
start
working in their early
age
undergoes
a lot of
pressure.
Futhermore
, another cogent cause which justifies the scenario of correspondence study would
make
barrier to decide a permanent stream. To
explain
,
even though
obtain job is helpful for long term experience,
still
it would not
only
effect
students work productivity
but
their future
also
. To cite an example, there are number of streams that require practical work which is difficult due to irregular education.
Therefore
, if children
start
work in their
tendor
age
, it would
be complicated
for themselves to balance both their fields.
Conclusively
, inconsideration to above articulate it is ostensible that owing to the deviation from stream and earlier burden in tender
age
bellwether of working with irregular education is
negative
in nature.
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IELTS essay A lot of children these days start working quite early write after their scholling pursue corresponding education. do you think it is positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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