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Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Jgme
Value of money is the essential life skill that every student should be taught as part of the school subject. Though very few schools have this curriculum, I strongly agree, every school need to be taught this skill as it's play's the most crucial role in our day to day life. On the other hand, it also makes people awful if they are completely fit into the money. Firstly, money is so important in our life as we can't continue our day without this. We need this in every aspect of our life such as in Education, Entertainment, Hospital and many more. We can spend this money in many formats but spending this in a use full manner makes a person grow well. For example, There are two people in a town who works in a similar company and there walk of life is cab driver in Uber. Both get same amount of salary by month end. Person A spends all his money for entertainment such as going to movies, events whereas person B spends money wisely for his daily needs and saves the extra money and invest in stocks. After two years the whole city was effected with an earthquake and roads got damaged. Both of them lost there jobs as it a cab agency. Person B bought a shop for rent and started selling food but person A was struggling for life. Secondly, money makes people greedy. People don't satisfy on what they have. There mindset changes once they get what they actually need. Finally, In my opinion teaching students the value of money is quite satisfactory but this shouldn't lead the same person greedy and selfish. As children of present generation are leader for future generation they should know the importance of money.
Value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the essential
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life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that every student should
be taught
as part of the school subject. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few schools have this curriculum, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, every school need to
be taught
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
as it's play's the most crucial role in our
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day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
On the other hand
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
awful if they are completely fit into the money.

Firstly
,
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money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as we can't continue our day without this. We need this in every aspect of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as in Education, Entertainment, Hospital and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. We can spend this
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money
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
formats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
spending this in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
full manner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
grow well.
For example
, There are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a town who works in a similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and there walk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is cab driver in Uber. Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
same amount of salary by month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Person
A spends all his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for entertainment such as going to movies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
B spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
for his daily needs and saves the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and invest in stocks.

After two years the whole city
was effected
with an earthquake and roads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
damaged. Both of them lost there jobs as it a cab agency.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Person
B
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a shop for rent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
selling food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
A was struggling for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
greedy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
don't satisfy on what they have. There mindset
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they actually need.

Finally
, In my opinion teaching students the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is quite satisfactory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this shouldn't lead the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
greedy and selfish. As children of present generation are leader for future generation they should know the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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