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Many criminals commit further crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Many criminals commit further crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? MN7p
In spite of the punishment, numerous offenders reengage in illegal activities once they are released from jail. From my point of view, the most important reasons for this are social stigma and poor job opportunities. The following paragraphs discuss the above causes and suggest possible solutions. First of all, many times people, who acquired freedom after the custody, are not accepted by their own families. Society treats them with suspicion, as people do not want ex-convicts to reside their communities. The feeling of loneliness and isolation from the world directly or indirectly promotes violence. However, this problem can be avoided to a large extent by government's intervention in terms of the overall outlook of people towards the ex-prisoners via different kinds of mass media. Also, prisoners should be advised how to handle difficult situations in life as well as explained how to maintain a clear mind, while communicating with judgemental people and trying to rebuild personal relationships. Second of all, criminal background drastically decreases any possible job opportunities as no employer prefers a worker with a record to a law-abiding one. Individuals leave jail without any marketable skills and knowledge, which in turn makes the chances of applying for a financially viable job extremely low. However, this issue can be quickly resolved by organising workshops to help with the future employment by means of teaching usefull skills and technics. To sum up, I believe, that both government and people must play their part to divert the low breakers from additional criminal activities after releasing from prison.
In spite of
the punishment, numerous offenders reengage in illegal activities once they
are released
from jail. From my point of view, the most
important
reasons for this are social stigma and poor job opportunities. The following paragraphs discuss the above causes and suggest possible solutions.

First of all
,
many
times
people
, who acquired freedom after the custody, are not
accepted
by their
own
families. Society treats them with suspicion, as
people
do not want ex-convicts to reside their communities. The feeling of loneliness and isolation from the world
directly
or
indirectly
promotes violence.
However
, this problem can
be avoided
to a large extent by
government
's intervention in terms of the
overall
outlook of
people
towards the ex-prisoners via
different
kinds of mass media.
Also
, prisoners should
be advised
how to handle difficult situations in life
as well
as
explained
how to maintain a
clear
mind, while communicating with
judgemental
people
and trying to rebuild personal relationships.

Second of all, criminal background
drastically
decreases any possible job opportunities as no employer prefers a worker with a record to a law-abiding one. Individuals
leave
jail without any marketable
skills
and knowledge, which in turn
makes
the chances of applying for a
financially
viable job
extremely
low.
However
, this issue can be
quickly
resolved by
organising
workshops to
help
with the future employment by means of teaching
usefull
skills
and
technics
.

To sum up, I believe, that both
government
and
people
must
play their part to divert the low breakers from additional criminal activities after releasing from prison.
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IELTS essay Many criminals commit further crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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