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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issues involved .Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more psyshical education lessons in the school curriculum.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more psyshical education lessons in the school curriculum. Vodm
Owing to the problems which a geowing poulation of overweight cause for the halth care system, some people think the key to solving these issues to have more sport and exercise in the schools. I completely agree that this os the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public health in relation to weight. Firstly, dealing with the issues sorrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a long yerm approach and introducing more exercise and sport in schools. This method will ensure that the next generation will ve halthier and will not have such health problems. At the moment, the average child in the west does sport possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract with other sedentary lifestyle. However, by incorporating more sports classes into the curriculum sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active. Another point to consider is having more sports lessons for children in schools will probably result in children developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and hsve a longer lasting effect. In other words parwnts with sporty children are more likely to get involved in sport as a way of encouarging their children. By both parents and children being involved, it will ensure that children grow up to incorporate sport in their daily lives. This is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public healthIn conclusion, to deal with an increasing poulation of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing sport in schools is the easiest and most effective method to use.
Owing to the problems which a
geowing
poulation
of overweight cause for the
halth
care system,
some
people
think
the key to solving these issues to have more
sport
and exercise in the
schools
. I completely
agree
that this
os
the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public health in relation to weight.
Firstly
, dealing with the issues
sorrounding
obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a long
yerm
approach and introducing more exercise and
sport
in
schools
. This method will ensure that the
next
generation will ve
halthier
and will not have such health problems. At the moment, the average child in the west does
sport
possibly
twice a week, which is not
enough
to counteract with other sedentary lifestyle.
However
, by incorporating more
sports
classes into the curriculum
sports
activities, they will
undoubtedly
become fitter and more active. Another point to consider is having more
sports
lessons for
children
in
schools
will
probably
result in
children
developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and
hsve
a longer lasting effect.
In other words
parwnts
with sporty
children
are more likely to
get
involved in
sport
as a way of
encouarging
their
children
. By both parents and
children
being involved
, it will ensure that
children
grow up to incorporate
sport
in their daily
lives
. This is
certainly
a natural and lasting way to
improve
public
healthIn
conclusion, to deal with an increasing
poulation
of unfit, overweight
people
, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing
sport
in
schools
is the easiest and most effective method to
use
.
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IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more psyshical education lessons in the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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