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Venues life is posssible or nor?

Venues life is posssible or nor? e3q1V
In the reading section, the writer contends that some scientists believe the life would be possible on the Mars and the moon and others believes that the possible chances of living on the Venues are very low. However in the lecture, the proffesor cast douts on the reading point by some fact about the stationary thing on the Venues which can solve the problem of atmospheric pressure, water, oxygen and, thick cloud. first of all, the writer claims that the atmospheric pressure on the surface of Venus is much greater than the pressure and this pressure can be similar to 100 kilograms pressing down on every square centimeter of the land of Venus: in contrast, the professor rejects this notion by stating that by making some stationary, above the 50 kilometers higher than Venus surface, This problem can be solved. The pressure at that height, 50 kilometer, is the same pressure which we are experiencing on earth now. second of all, according to the reading section there are some problems for living on venus and these problems are lack of water and oxygen. On the Vnues some materials like carbon dioxide, nitrogen and sulfuric acid can be found; on contrary the lecturer indicate this issue can be work out through some chemical process. The materials which exist on the land of venuse can be transforming through the inquired material for living. Finally, the reading section contends that there is just tiny sunlight can be passed and reached through the land of venuse and this event is caused by the thick clouds on the atmosphere; on the other hand, the professor clarified that there is thick cloud but this can be used for the station, which been discussed, for generating adequate electricity for living on Venus, even more than enough electricity can be produced, and other part of the sunlight is enough for species to live.
In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
section, the writer contends that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists believe the life would be possible on the Mars and the moon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
believes that the possible chances of living on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Venues
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in the lecture, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesor
cast
Possible spelling mistake found.
douts
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
point by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fact about the stationary thing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Venues
which can solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of atmospheric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
, water, oxygen and, thick cloud.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, the writer claims that the atmospheric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on the surface of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Venus
is much greater than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
can be similar to 100 kilograms pressing down on every square centimeter of the land of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Venus
:
in contrast
, the professor rejects this notion by stating that by making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stationary, above the 50 kilometers higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Venus
surface, This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
at that height, 50
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kilometer' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kilometers".
kilometer
, is the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
which we are experiencing on earth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
second
of all, according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
section there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for living on
Possible spelling mistake found.
venus
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are lack of water and oxygen. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vnues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
materials like carbon dioxide, nitrogen and sulfuric acid can
be found
; on contrary the lecturer indicate this issue can be work out through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chemical process. The materials which exist on the land of
Possible spelling mistake found.
venuse
can be transforming through the inquired material for living.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
section contends that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
tiny sunlight can
be passed
and reached through the land of
Possible spelling mistake found.
venuse
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is caused
by the thick clouds on the atmosphere;
on the other hand
, the professor clarified that there is thick cloud
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the station, which
been discussed
, for generating adequate electricity for living on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Venus
, even more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
electricity can
be produced
, and other part of the sunlight is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for species to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Venues life is posssible or nor?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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