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Ventilators are extremely important to save patients who are severe cases of COVID – 19

Ventilators are extremely important to save patients who are severe cases of COVID – 19 kjDPK
Ventilators are extremely important to save patients who are severe cases of COVID – 19. With the dramatically increase of victims, as well as serious cases, countries around the world are facing the shortage of ventilators. Hanoi is not an exception: If the disease gets complicated in our capital city, only 0. 00375 % of people who are suffering because of this virus will be able to use ventilators. So are there any solutions to this conundrum? Let’s find out in this essay. To understand the solutions clearly, we should understand how do ventilators work? In scientific way to say, ventilators help providing air for lungs or every internal organ. Before placing ventilator, medical staff – often anesthetists performing a step called intubation. After patients are sedated, a tube will be insert to their windpipe. Although doctors are doing this work daily at recent, they must protect themselves from being attacked by the virus. Not only doctors, but also patients may be infected by ventilator phenomena and lung collapse. In spite of some precautions, ventilators are still important for severe coronavirus cases. The first and obvious solution is to stop the spread of the epidemic. You should follow all health instruction of the local medical system: wash your hand with soap regularly, don’t touch your eyes, noses or mouths, clean where you live and work daily, keep social distancing, only go out if you have urgent work to do and remember to wear face mask. Stopping the disease from its first place may save people who you have contacted and who have faced this equipment shortage. In order to increase the amount of ventilators, long-term companies, such as Philips are co-operating with other short - term one, such as Ford. Their factories are ramping up their products: hiring more manufacture and employees, open more assembly lines, … Some others replacements for ventilators can be used such as: sleep apnoea, annaesthic machine or even pet ventilators. Not only companies but also people all around the world are working on the production of ventilators. Tubes are printed by 3D technology. Easy models are being made by robotic scientists. These models are extracted from a mechanical pump with extra auto robot hand. Not only solving the shortage problem, they also decrease the number of doctors needed for an individual since a normal ventilator have a variety of modes and difficult options so it requires a knowledgeable user. Ventilator is a key in helping serious infected by coronavirus stay alive. Hope that vaccines and cure will be found soon in order to stop the disease and bring people back to their normal busy lives.
Ventilators are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to save patients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are severe cases of

Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
19. With the
dramatically
increase of victims,
as well
as serious cases,

countries around the world are facing the shortage of ventilators. Hanoi is not

an exception: If the disease
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
complicated in our capital city,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
0. 00375

% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are suffering
because of this
virus will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use


ventilators.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
are there any solutions to this conundrum?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s find out in this

essay.

To understand the solutions
clearly
, we should understand how do ventilators

work? In scientific way to say, ventilators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to provide" or "provide".
providing
air for lungs or every

internal organ.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
placing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ventilator
, medical staff
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
anesthetists

performing a step called
Possible spelling mistake found.
intubation
. After patients
are sedated
, a tube will be

Consider using a past participle here: "inserted".
insert
to their windpipe. Although doctors are doing this work daily at recent,

they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
protect themselves from
being attacked
by the virus. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only


doctors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
patients may
be infected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ventilator
phenomena and lung

collapse.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions, ventilators are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for

severe coronavirus cases.

The
first
and obvious solution is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the spread of the epidemic. You

should follow all health instruction of the local medical system: wash your

hand with soap
regularly
, don’t touch your eyes, noses or mouths, clean where

you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work daily,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
social distancing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
go out if you have urgent

work to do and remember to wear face mask. Stopping the disease from its

first
place may save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
you have contacted and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have faced this

equipment shortage.

In order to increase the amount of ventilators, long-term
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, such as

Philips are co-operating with other short
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
term one, such as Ford. Their

factories are ramping up their products: hiring more manufacture and

employees, open more assembly lines, …

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
others replacements for ventilators can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
such as: sleep
Possible spelling mistake found.
apnoea
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
annaesthic
machine or even pet ventilators. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the world are working on the production of ventilators.

Tubes
are printed
by 3D technology. Easy models are
being made
by robotic

scientists. These models
are extracted
from a mechanical pump with extra

auto robot hand. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
solving the shortage problem, they
also
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
decrease


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
number of doctors needed for an individual since a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ventilator
have

a variety of modes and difficult options
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it requires a knowledgeable user.

Ventilator is a key in helping serious infected by coronavirus stay alive. Hope

that vaccines and cure will
be found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the disease and

bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
back to their normal busy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Ventilators are extremely important to save patients who are severe cases of COVID – 19

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
440 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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