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Various nation have large nunber of people aged over 65

Various nation have large nunber of people aged over 65 VBppA
Majority of nations have large proportion of individual who aged over the 65 that could cause several problems. This essay will discuss how to mitigate these problems. To begin with, although there are several problems due to the fact of large number of ancient people in numerous countries, one predominant problem is economy of their nation. Like the proportion of aged people are increasing day by day on the contrary the rate of birth is decreasing. Consequently, young workers are less in a number of professions. Due to this, states migrates young worker from other nation to improve their economy statues. Although, older have an experience of their work, not active in their work. Consequently, they could not improve the productivity of their nation More over, health is second predominant problems for mature people who aged above 65. When people are older than that time people become weaker. For instance, a person who aged over 65 works in large company that person not only do less work for the organization on the contrary also has lees capable for work. Therefore, when people who are older than they reduce their strength and capability to work. Consequently, these are major problems for aged people There are several solutions to resolve these problems. Firstly, states should have responsibilities to mitigate these problems. Like, people who aged 65 should get retired owing to the fact that, they would have less efficiency for work longer hours. Moreover, authorities will provide health related facilities and funds to them. Consequently, they would live save life. To sum up,
Majority of nations have large proportion of individual
who
aged
over the 65 that could cause several
problems
. This essay will discuss how to mitigate these problems.

To
begin
with, although there are several
problems
due to the fact of large number of ancient
people
in numerous countries, one predominant
problem
is economy of their nation. Like the proportion of
aged
people
are increasing day by day
on the contrary
the rate of birth is decreasing.
Consequently
, young workers are less in a number of professions. Due to this, states migrates young worker from other nation to
improve
their economy statues. Although, older have an experience of their
work
, not active in their
work
.
Consequently
, they could not
improve
the productivity of their nation

More over, health is second predominant
problems
for mature
people
who
aged
above 65.
When
people
are older than that time
people
become weaker.
For instance
, a person
who
aged
over 65 works in large
company
that person not
only
do less
work
for the organization
on the contrary
also
has lees capable for
work
.
Therefore
, when
people
who
are older than they
reduce
their strength and capability to
work
.
Consequently
, these are major
problems
for
aged
people


There are several solutions to resolve these
problems
.
Firstly
, states should have responsibilities to mitigate these
problems
. Like,
people
who
aged
65 should
get
retired owing to the fact that, they would have less efficiency for
work
longer hours.
Moreover
, authorities will provide health related facilities and funds to them.
Consequently
, they would
live
save life.

To sum up,
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IELTS essay Various nation have large nunber of people aged over 65

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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