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vaccination drives are useful .do you agree and disagree?

vaccination drives are useful. do you agree and disagree? p18G0
To commence with, first and foremost factor is that vaccination is a helping hand to get rid from infections which effected to the patient. To expain further, antibiotics are provided to the survivor through the immunization which eradicate all the toxic illness. A World health organisation's report revealed that individuals who have been vaccinated as soon as possible recover from affected disorder, for example. Therefore, for curing from a particular infections, vaccination is crucial. What's more, injection provides the protection shield to the body. In the same words, the process of the same boosts immunity of the sufferer which helps to defence our body from bacteria. For instance, 70% of chinese patients who are vaccinated have strong body's defenses and never get sick easily, according to an annual survey which is conducted by a leading newspaper 'the Tribune'. Thus, vaccinations serve to make people immune to certain diseases in the future. To recapitulate, injectioning is very important for a healthy lifestyle because it helps to stave off from poisonous diseases and can be considered as a health armour.
To commence with,
first
and foremost factor is that vaccination is a helping hand to
get
rid from


infections
which effected to the patient. To
expain
further
, antibiotics
are provided
to the
survivor


through
the immunization which eradicate all the toxic illness. A World health
organisation
's
report


revealed that individuals who have
been vaccinated
as
soon
as possible recover from
affected
disorder,

for example
.
Therefore
, for
curing from
a particular
infections
, vaccination is crucial.

What's more, injection provides the protection shield to the body. In the same words, the process
of


the
same boosts immunity of the sufferer which
helps
to
defence
our body from bacteria.
For instance
,

70% of
chinese
patients who
are vaccinated
have strong body's defenses and never
get
sick
easily
,

according to an annual survey which
is conducted
by a leading newspaper 'the Tribune'.
Thus
,

vaccinations serve to
make
people
immune to certain diseases in the future.

To recapitulate,
injectioning
is
very
important
for a healthy lifestyle
because
it
helps
to stave off from

poisonous
diseases and can
be considered
as a health
armour
.
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IELTS essay vaccination drives are useful. do you agree and disagree?

Essay
  American English
12 paragraphs
178 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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