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hose who claim that happiness correlates highly with earnings argue that it affords individuals a higher standard of living

hose who claim that happiness correlates highly with earnings argue that it affords individuals a higher standard of living yDmkV
It is argued that employees are happier when they have high a income. This eassy totally disagrees with that statment. I believe that the majority of poeple are concered about their time and family as well as resposbilie at work. Employees with high salries usualy do not spend more time with their families at home. Whne they are highly paied usually they work more than 45 hours a week which is beyond the working hours recommendation by the World Health Orgnaization which may lead weaken the relationship btween the employee and his wife and children. In fact, this happened to my uncle. He used to work for many hours away from home whivh caused his wife to ask for divorce. Having a high paied position means having many duties and responsabilties. In this case, the job might requires employees to sign senstive memos forms. The person has to observent not to make mistakes. One day I watched on TV news a man who signed a paper was given to him by his staff and he was put in jail for that. In conclusion, most of the people would like be paied higher salaries but keeping in mind time and family matters. Human beign must have balance in their lives. It is predicated that many people when they earn more the more their expenses increase and the more they become on debt.
It
is argued
that employees are happier when they have high
a
income. This
eassy
totally
disagrees with that
statment
. I believe that the majority of
poeple
are
concered
about their time and family
as well
as
resposbilie
at work.

Employees with high
salries
usualy
do not spend more time with their families at home.
Whne
they are
highly
paied
usually
they work more than 45 hours a week which is beyond the working
hours
recommendation by the World Health
Orgnaization
which may lead weaken the relationship
btween
the employee and his wife and children. In fact, this happened to my uncle. He
used
to work for
many
hours away from home
whivh
caused his wife to
ask for
divorce.

Having a high
paied
position means having
many
duties and
responsabilties
.
In this case
, the job might requires employees to
sign
senstive
memos forms. The person
has to
observent
not to
make
mistakes. One day I
watched
on TV news a
man
who signed a paper was
given
to him by his
staff and
he
was put
in jail for that.

In conclusion
, most of the
people
would like be
paied
higher salaries
but
keeping in mind time and family matters. Human
beign
must
have balance in their
lives
. It
is predicated
that
many
people
when they earn more the more their expenses increase and the more they become on debt.
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IELTS essay hose who claim that happiness correlates highly with earnings argue that it affords individuals a higher standard of living

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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