Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

2222 first describe a party what is the party? why was the party heldwho attended the partywhat did you do for that party v.1

2222 first describe a party what is the party? why was the party heldwho attended the partywhat did you do for that party v. 1
It is argued that children should be encouraged to learn an additional language apart from their mother tongue when they are in primary school rather than secondary one. I personally favour this idea for some following reasons. In the first place, learning to be a bilingual when studying at primary school can be beneficial for children’s communication skills. It has been scientifically proved that, languages can enhance our speaking skills significantly, provide us a wide range of vocabulary as well as new expressions to communicate effectively. Therefore, primary school students can greatly benefit from early and proper educational language programs. In addition to the first argument, communication skills are also crucial for children’s future, acting as an indispensable tool helping them immerse into working life later on. Hence, it is advisable to teach children a new language at such a young age, or at least as soon as possible, so that they can form a firmly fundamental base of communication. Another striking reason for children to obtain a foreign language at primary school is that students at this age usually find effortless when it comes to learn a new language. By naturally mimicking foreigners’ voice, they can easily assimilate the accent and the grammatical systems of the language. Hence, when they grow older, they have already earned for themselves the necessary habits to learn languages with ease. To be more exact, students in secondary schools or studying higher education do not have the natural ability to imitate the way foreigners speak as their mouth gestures are often quite firm and fixed. As a result, they struggle with learning languages at such an old age. This will be time-consuming when they start learning and possibly limit their job opportunities afterwards. In conclusion, I find it advantageous to teach children a new language in elementary school rather than delay it to secondary school. The sooner children can be able to learn languages, the brighter their future will be.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
an additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
apart from their mother tongue when they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
rather
than secondary one. I
personally
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
following reasons.

In the
first
place, learning to be a bilingual when studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It has been
scientifically
proved that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
can enhance our speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
significantly
, provide us a wide range of vocabulary
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
expressions to communicate
effectively
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students can
greatly
benefit from early and proper educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
programs.
In addition
to the
first
argument, communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
also
crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
future, acting as an indispensable tool helping them immerse into working life later on.
Hence
, it is advisable to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at such a young age, or at least as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can form a
firmly
fundamental base of communication.

Another striking reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to obtain a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is that students at this age
usually
find effortless when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. By
naturally
mimicking foreigners’ voice, they can
easily
assimilate the accent and the grammatical systems of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Hence
, when they grow older, they have already earned for themselves the necessary habits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
Did you mean "to"?
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. To be more exact, students in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or studying higher education do not have the natural ability to imitate the way foreigners speak as their mouth gestures are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
quite firm and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
.
As a result
, they struggle with learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
at such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age. This will be time-consuming when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning and
possibly
limit their job opportunities afterwards.

In conclusion
, I find it advantageous to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
rather
than delay it to secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The sooner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, the brighter their future will be.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 2222 first describe a party what is the party? why was the party heldwho attended the partywhat did you do for that party v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts