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Vaccinating children against preventable disease is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays vaccinating is really popular way from kind of illness or disease, that could helps to children and elder people. Many parents think that it isn’t very important and helpful for child’s health and in the same time vaccinating can be unsafe, because of death factors. This essay will argue why people think that vaccinating is dangerous and why parents protect their children from this kind of medicine. So, vaccinating will be really perilous, if we use it incorrectly, it depends on doctor, who will do vaccinating. I know many situations, when school doctor made a injection, and after this children with bad immune system had a terrible illness and high temperature. Their parents made a scandal about this situation. I think, after this kind of stories from real life nobody want to do vaccine to their kid. I agree with though that vaccinating isn’t the best way to delete disease in organism. However, if composition of vaccine is quite healthy and when it enters the body and absorbed well, it serve organism, because of vitamins in ingredients. For example, if someone feel himself horrible, child has a disease, he have to have a special preparation or injection, what should help to human body with fighting with other bacteria in organism. To conclude, vaccinating has 2 sides of people’s opinion, everyone choose his way how to effect in each situations. I believe that in years vaccinating will be maximally safety to children and we will inject kids without terrifying.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
is
really
popular way from kind of illness or disease, that could
The modal verb ‘could’ requires the verb’s base form.
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it isn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and helpful for child’s health and in the same time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
can be unsafe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of death factors. This essay will argue why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and why parents protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from this kind of medicine.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
will be
really
perilous, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
incorrectly
, it depends on doctor, who will do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
. I know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situations, when school doctor made
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
injection, and after
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘children’. Did you mean “these”?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
immune system had a terrible illness and high temperature. Their parents made a scandal about this situation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, after this kind of stories from real life nobody
The pronoun ‘nobody’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “wants”, “wanted”.
want
to do vaccine to their kid. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with though that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
isn’t the best way to delete disease in organism.

However
, if composition of vaccine is quite healthy and when it enters the body and absorbed well, it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “serves”.
serve
organism,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of vitamins in ingredients.
For example
, if someone
The pronoun ‘someone’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “feels”, “felt”.
feel
himself horrible, child has a disease, he
The pronoun ‘he’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “has”, “had”.
have
to have a special preparation or injection, what should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to human body with fighting with other bacteria in organism.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
has 2 sides of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s opinion, everyone
The pronoun ‘everyone’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “chooses”, “chose”.
choose
his way how to effect in each
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “situation”?
situations
. I believe that in years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
will be
maximally
safety to
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
we will inject kids without terrifying.
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IELTS essay Vaccinating children against preventable disease is not only unnecessary but also dangerous.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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