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Usually its a common trend in our country to lead luxurious life. What are the factors involve in this matter? And how can we overcome it?

Usually its a common trend in our country to lead luxurious life. What are the factors involve in this matter? And how can we overcome it? JYQxw
Its having a time and money to live a life that mostly people can imagine only in dreams. You have everything that you want whenever its needed. Its human natural habit that everyone wants to be successful in their life and to get that success everyone indirectly wants a money to live a life according to their own rules that they wish. Now a days not only in ours but in most of the countries everyone wants to be successful because they want to live a luxurious life. Well, i think the digital media and social media is main factor behind the luxurious life. Because now a days, in most of the drama and film series that we see on social media or digital media they show us a character who have successful carrier and living a luxurious life. So, in a country like Pakistan where the population of youth is very much high these social or digital media series make negative impact on youth and attract them towards luxurious life. And if we want to overcome these things the youth needs to understand that the character they see in the series are not real.
Its having a time and money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
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life
that
mostly
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people
can imagine
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only
in dreams. You have everything that you
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want
whenever
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
needed. Its human natural habit that everyone
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wants
to be successful in their
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life
and to
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get
that success everyone
indirectly
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wants
a money to
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live
a
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life
according to their
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own
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rules
that they wish.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
not
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only
in ours
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but
in most of the countries everyone
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wants
to be successful
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because
they
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want
to
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live
a
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luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Well,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
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think
the digital
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media
and social
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media
is main factor behind the
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luxurious
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life
.
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Because
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
, in most of the drama and film series that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on social
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media
or digital
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media
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us a character who have successful carrier and living a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in a country like Pakistan where the population of youth is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much high these social or digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
series
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on youth and attract them towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. And if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to overcome these things the youth needs to understand that the character they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the series are not real.
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IELTS essay Usually its a common trend in our country to lead luxurious life. What are the factors involve in this matter? And how can we overcome it?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
195 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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