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Using points and examples from the lecture, explain how the experiment does not support the public's belief in Mozart Effect. v.1

Using points and examples from the lecture, explain how the experiment does not support the public's belief in Mozart Effect. v. 1
In this era of technological advancement, computers are becoming an indispensable part of our daily lives, including education. It is considered as a positive trend by some, while others oppose it for its detrimental effects. I side with those who welcome this evolution. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both points of view. The proponents of this progress argue that this boon of technology should be welcomed for its positive impacts on educational field and I agree with them. In this fast-paced world, when every student wants to have the latest information’s about his research and subjects, this information technology seems to be the only viable solution to their queries, as they can get everything with a single click. For instance, many studies have shown a remarkable surge in online study material search and purchasing of e-books, which shows the interest of the new generation in online surveys. Above mentioned examples show the beneficial contribution of technology in educational fields. On the other hand, some take this development as harmful because of its some unwanted effects. People state that dependency on technology is severely affecting the intellectual abilities of pupils as easy availability of information is making them less interested in research. Furthermore, this tendency is posing severe threats to the overall performance of students because more on screen is causing easy access to unwanted materials. For example, many on campus surveys are Pakistan has shown that the most common reason for students failure was there more addiction to gadgets than academics. So, technology is posing severe threats to the educational field of a new generation. To conclude, although dependency on technology is causing some problems to students in their studies. These are negligible as compared to their benefits. I believe that little modification in technique can make it more effective.
In this era of technological advancement, computers are becoming an indispensable part of our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, including education. It
is considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, while others oppose it for its detrimental effects. I side with those who welcome this evolution. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both points of view.

The proponents of this progress argue that this boon of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should
be welcomed
for its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on educational field and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them. In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world, when every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
wants to have the latest information’s about his research and subjects, this information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
seems to be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
viable solution to their queries, as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything with a single click.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies have shown a remarkable surge in online study material search and purchasing of e-books, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the interest of the new generation in online surveys. Above mentioned examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the beneficial contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in educational fields.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
take this development as harmful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unwanted effects.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
state that dependency on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
severely
affecting the intellectual abilities of pupils as easy availability of information is making them less interested in research.
Furthermore
, this tendency is posing severe threats to the
overall
performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more on screen is causing easy access to unwanted materials.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
on campus surveys are Pakistan has shown that the most common reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
failure was there more addiction to gadgets than academics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is posing severe threats to the educational field of a new generation.

To conclude
, although dependency on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their studies. These are negligible as compared to their benefits. I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
modification in technique can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more effective.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Using points and examples from the lecture, explain how the experiment does not support the public's belief in Mozart Effect. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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