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Using points and e from the lecture, explain two ways that vegetation can help prevent soil erosion on hillsides. v.1

Using points and e from the lecture, explain two ways that vegetation can help prevent soil erosion on hillsides. v. 1
Nowadays, an ever increasing number of women work full time, In this reality, It is widely believed that house chores should be between both partners equally. I completely agree with this notion. One of the major reasons to share work between male and female, both partners equally, is to form gender equality in society and at home. The stereotype of system is that, man should work for family and women should work for all house works and take care of family intensively. This includes cleaning, cooking and many more. However, in this approach, women might be abreast of the latest trends and current market status. Not only that, if the same women joins work, that will be arduous for them to adjust with company atmospheres. Due to this, many women avoid taking long maternity leaves, and once they do, it makes sense for both male and female to take care of family, more like sharing family and home responsibilities. Apart from this, there are several drawbacks in the current approach. Few countries do not have the same house chores, sharing system from the beginning, such that they have seldom worked on house cleaning, cooking and other important tasks. This makes them inexperienced and they might not be able to perform the tasks in perfect manner. This can lead to quarrels between partners, hindering their family bond. However, the chances of such conflicts are not high, as these can be solved by few guidance and instructions from wife to follow such as how to mope and how to do laundry and much more. To sum up, although there are chances of conflict in family about sharing house chores equally, but the benefits outweigh the negative aspects.
Nowadays, an
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
full time, In this reality, It is
widely
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
chores should be between both partners
equally
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.

One of the major reasons to share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
between male and female, both partners
equally
, is to form gender equality in society and at home. The stereotype of system is that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
works and take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
intensively
. This includes cleaning, cooking and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
However
, in this approach,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
might be abreast of the latest trends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
market status. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, if the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joins
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, that will be arduous for them to adjust with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
atmospheres. Due to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
avoid taking long maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
, and once they do, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense for both male and female to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, more like sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and home responsibilities.

Apart from this, there are several drawbacks in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
approach. Few countries do not have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
chores, sharing system from the beginning, such that they have seldom worked on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
cleaning, cooking and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
inexperienced and
they might not be able to perform the tasks in perfect manner. This can lead to quarrels between partners, hindering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond.
However
, the chances of such conflicts are not high, as these can
be solved
by
Possible agreement error. The noun guidance seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little guidance".
few guidance
and instructions from wife to follow such as how to mope and how to do laundry and much more.

To sum up, although there are chances of conflict in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
about sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
chores
equally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Using points and e from the lecture, explain two ways that vegetation can help prevent soil erosion on hillsides. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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