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Using points and details from the lecture, explain what the pyramid chart and the wheel chart reveal about a company. v.1

Using points and details from the lecture, explain what the pyramid chart and the wheel chart reveal about a company. v. 1
The internet has revolutionized our society, people have become addicted to buying their essentials online. Many organizations have also started to order materials through websites created by vendors. Although it has aided in reducing the pollution levels across cities; there is a hike in online shopping scams and lack of quality products. My essay will deal with the merits and demerits of online shopping. Online shopping has managed to mitigate the pollution level across major cities. People are hardly using their personal vehicle as they prefer to shop through online websites, thereby saving fuel and preventing environmental degradation. Consequently, there is a stability in the weather pattern and air quality index has improved significantly as compared to earlier levels. Moreover, many firms have started to operate digitally, as ordering online allows faster deliver of raw materials and timely production can be achieved, thereby companies reduces production delays. Therefore, people as well as organizations are realizing the benefits of using the internet to meet their daily requirements. Some people opine that there is a risk of getting scammed online and the quality of products is not up to the standards. Moreover, the internet brings its own threats, and scammers are one among them which are continually committing fraud with people, and even in some cases, big organization also becomes a victim of these fraudsters. It is also observed that companies are not pleased by the quality of raw materials provided by online vendors which results in manufacturing delays and financial losses. In 2016, as per cyber security department of India, more than 20, 000 people were scammed. Thus, these online shopping platforms have their own consequences, which is a hard reality to digest. To summarize, even though it is a hard reality of internet shopping that people are being scammed and organizations are struggling to place their feet on the digital platform, many success stories of companies making profit through online shopping has been seen.
The internet has revolutionized our society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become addicted to buying their essentials
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to order materials through websites created by vendors. Although it has aided in reducing the pollution levels across cities; there is a hike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
scams and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
products. My essay will deal with the merits and demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has managed to mitigate the pollution level across major cities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are hardly using their personal vehicle as they prefer to shop through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
websites, thereby saving fuel and preventing environmental degradation.
Consequently
, there is a stability in the weather pattern and air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
index has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
as compared to earlier levels.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
firms have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to operate
digitally
, as ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
faster deliver of raw materials and timely production can
be achieved
, thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
production delays.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
The verb 'realizing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are realizing
the benefits of using the internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their daily requirements.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of getting scammed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of products is not up to the standards.
Moreover
, the internet brings its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
threats, and scammers are one among them which are
continually
committing fraud with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
also
becomes a victim of these fraudsters. It is
also
observed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of raw materials provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
vendors which results in manufacturing delays and financial losses. In 2016, as per cyber security department of India, more than 20, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were scammed
.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
platforms have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
consequences, which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
reality to digest.

To summarize
,
even though
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
reality of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being scammed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are struggling to place their feet on the digital platform,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
success stories of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
making profit through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Using points and details from the lecture, explain what the pyramid chart and the wheel chart reveal about a company. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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