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using computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. do you agree or disagree? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

using computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. v. 1
With the technology development, the past decades have seen the increasing popularity using computers. It is widely debated whether the development in the technology contributed to side-effects. This essay will argue that actually the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages and will provide two reasons to elucidate. It might be claimed that comparing with the past the internet addiction has become common, but it also brought the benefits on several aspects in our life. One indisputable benefit is that the availability of the variety of resources increased. Thus, the knowledge and the information can be spread without efforts so that it fostered the advances in several aspects. For instance, before the internet became common, people had to rely on the newspaper or the books to get the knowledge and the information, which contributed to a higher expenditure on getting and sharing the information; however, nowadays, computer made it easier. In addition to an increasing availability of the information, another benefit using computer brought is that people can keep abreast with the time. A case in point is that with the globalization, knowing abroad and domestic news became necessary, and the best method to get news is using computers. Therefore, it is evident that using technology devices has become inevitable. In conclusion, based on the above factors, using computers can be inferred that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and that's why I take issue with it.
With the technology development, the past decades have
seen
the increasing popularity using computers. It is
widely
debated whether the development in the technology contributed to
side-effects
. This essay will argue that actually the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages and will provide two reasons to elucidate.

It might
be claimed
that comparing with the past the internet addiction has become common,
but
it
also
brought the benefits on several aspects in our life. One indisputable benefit is that the availability of the variety of resources increased.
Thus
, the knowledge and the
information
can
be spread
without efforts
so
that it fostered the advances in several aspects.
For instance
,
before
the internet became common,
people
had to rely on the newspaper or the books to
get
the knowledge and the
information
, which contributed to a higher expenditure on getting and sharing the
information
;
however
, nowadays, computer made it easier.

In addition
to an increasing availability of the
information
, another benefit using computer brought is that
people
can
keep
abreast with the time. A case in point is that with the globalization, knowing abroad and domestic news became necessary, and the best method to
get
news is using computers.
Therefore
, it is evident that using technology devices has become inevitable.

In conclusion
, based on the above factors, using computers can
be inferred
that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and that's why I take issue with it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay using computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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