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Using animals to test the safety of cosmetics or drugs used for medical reason is never acceptable. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Using animals to test the safety of cosmetics or drugs used for medical reason is never acceptable. v. 2
whether using animals in the purposing test biological experiment is a question that requires careful consideration. As a matter of fact, this issue which is accepted or denied is a curial challenge that made strong discussion. In this essay I will deal with this controversial argument and named some benefits and drawbacks which are related to this subject. Some researchers which support the idea that by using animals we can estimate the bad effect for drugs. In addition, they believe that before one product is put on the market we should analyze the whole process which their body faced with. More importantly, they grew up some special animals like mouse which has same DNA similar to human. Afterwards, the injected that new product or drug into their body and after some specific days they put the result of testing in a paper and predicted the future effect for humans. However, on the other hand, there are some people who never accept this method. They believe that, animals like humans have the right of living without of any dangerous. We do not have the prompt to get the chance of living of any creature. Unfortunately, there are many struggle discuss among people and some researchers for this challenge. Instead of this method of using animals for medical purpose, they suggested alternative ways which are different from normal ones. The also invited some environmentalist to help them stop this strategy. I partially agree with the second view. While the old method had brought some successful discovery, they faced with different criticize which never happened. I think that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whether
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the purposing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
biological experiment is a question that requires careful consideration. As a matter of fact, this issue which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
or denied is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
curial
challenge that made strong discussion. In this essay I will deal with this controversial argument and named
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawbacks which
are related
to this subject.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
researchers which support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
we can estimate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect for drugs.
In addition
, they believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
one product
is put
on the market we should analyze the whole process which their body faced with.

More
importantly
, they grew up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like mouse which has same DNA similar to human. Afterwards, the injected that new product or drug into their body and after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific days they put the result of testing in a paper and predicted the future effect for humans.

However
,
on the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who never accept this method. They believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like humans have the right of living without of any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. We do not have the prompt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance of living of any creature. Unfortunately, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun struggle seems to be countable; consider using: "many struggles".
many struggle
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to discuss"
discuss
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researchers for this challenge.
Instead
of this method of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for medical purpose, they suggested alternative ways which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from normal ones. The
also
invited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmentalist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this strategy.

I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second view. While the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
method had brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
successful discovery, they faced with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
criticize which never happened. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Using animals to test the safety of cosmetics or drugs used for medical reason is never acceptable. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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