Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.1

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on your children. 1
In recent times, the use of computer and other technological devices have become a huge part of our daily activities. Some people are of the belief that this trend has massive detrimental effects on young people and I agree. To begin with, the use of computers has negatively impacted the health situations of people, especially children. Early exposure to digital screens has been reported to damage a very important part of the eye. An overwhelming number of researches carried out by the World Health Organisation have revealed that the recent proliferation in the use of glasses by school pupils less than the age of 10 is as a result of staring at computers for several hours. Furthermore, obesity is also on the rise because children would rather surf the internet than go out and engage in physical activities with friends. In addition, children of today learn a lot of things from the internet – both good and bad - which is accessed via a computer. This is in contrast to when a lot of us were growing up when we relied heavily on our parents for guidance. A report released by the police department revealed that there is a correlation between the advent of computers and the increase in crime rate committed by youths. This is because they have access to violent contents which then inspires them to also engage in similar acts. In conclusion, although the use of computers is here to stay, I am of the view that it would cause more harm than good to teenagers if its use is done too early in life because of the its impact on their health and uncensored content that they might be exposed to.
In recent times, the
use
of computer and other technological devices have become a huge part of our daily activities.
Some
people
are of the belief that this trend has massive detrimental effects on young
people
and I
agree
.

To
begin
with, the
use
of computers has
negatively
impacted the health situations of
people
,
especially
children. Early exposure to digital screens has
been reported
to damage a
very
important
part of the eye. An overwhelming number of researches carried out by the World Health
Organisation
have revealed that the recent proliferation in the
use
of glasses by school pupils less than the age of 10 is
as a result
of staring at computers for several hours.
Furthermore
, obesity is
also
on the rise
because
children would
rather
surf the internet than go out and engage in physical activities with friends.

In addition
, children of
today
learn
a lot of
things from the internet
both
good
and
bad
-
which
is accessed
via a computer. This is
in contrast
to when
a lot of
us were growing up when we relied
heavily
on our parents for guidance. A report released by the police department revealed that there is a correlation between the advent of computers and the increase in crime rate committed by youths. This is
because
they have access to violent contents which then inspires them to
also
engage in similar acts.

In conclusion
, although the
use
of computers is here to stay, I am of the view that it would cause more harm than
good
to
teenagers
if its
use
is done
too early in life
because
of
the its impact
on their health and uncensored content that they might
be exposed
to.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on your children. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts