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Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.10

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. v. 10
Computers have brought an alluring twist in this fast paced world. Despite its many merits, its usage by children is refuted by some people because of its negative consequences. Certainly, I believe, the usage of computers by children should be encouraged as it has more positive effects such as access to the educational content, providing effective communication and entertaining through games. The Personal Computer is a resplendent tool for children to gain knowledge. Through internet option available in computers, via social networks like Facebook, Orkut and Twitter children the gather study information from educational experts across the globe. For instance, whenever myself and my wife are out of the station, our children constantly interact with us through Skype and email options, Conspicuously, we can monitor our child's movements through cameras controlled by the computers. Further, the laptop is a powerful storage device which can download online videos, rhymes and educational contents, later replay and revise whenever they are free, Obviously storing terra bytes of data is also possible. Similarly, important days like exam, fee paying dates, birthday can also be kept in the reminder application. Secondly, the computer is a boon to children because of its transcendent features in communication. It enables them to connect them with their peers and faculty instantaneously to clear their doubts. In addition, the urgent parent-teacher meetings often conducted by teachers can be organized at once using bulk emails and chat option. Surprisingly, the computer erases the feeling of homesickness from children staying away from parents, which is highly commendable and this deserves a special mention. Apart from this, the driving simulation games, divert children encountering risk from real life driving and what not and of course is cost effective and safe too. Finally, the entertainment option available in the machine such as music, videos and games acts as the stress buster for children who are mentally tired because of the hectic study schedule. Laptops can also act as an excellent travel companion whenever children commute in flights which has a longer travel duration. To conclude, Today's children are tomorrow's leaders. So, I accept, the computer in the hands of children will help them to spread their wings and embrace victory in the future.
Computers have brought an alluring twist in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world. Despite its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits, its usage by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is refuted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
Certainly
, I believe, the usage of computers by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be encouraged
as it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects such as access to the educational content, providing effective communication and entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
games.

The Personal Computer is a resplendent tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to gain knowledge.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Through
internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
available in computers, via social networks like Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Orkut
and Twitter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the gather study information from educational experts across the globe.
For instance
, whenever myself and my wife are out of the station, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
constantly
interact with us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
Skype and email
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
,
Conspicuously
, we can monitor our child's movements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
cameras controlled by the computers.
Further
, the laptop is a powerful storage device which can download online videos, rhymes and educational contents, later replay and revise whenever they are free,
Obviously
storing
Possible spelling mistake found.
terra
bytes of data is
also
possible.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
days like exam, fee paying dates, birthday can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in the reminder application.

Secondly
, the computer is a boon to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its transcendent features in communication. It enables them to connect them with their peers and faculty
instantaneously
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
their doubts.
In addition
, the urgent parent-teacher meetings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
conducted by teachers can
be organized
at once using bulk emails and chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
.
Surprisingly
, the computer erases the feeling of homesickness from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
staying away from parents, which is
highly
commendable and this deserves a special mention. Apart from this, the driving simulation games, divert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
encountering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
from real life driving and what not and
of course
is cost
effective and safe too.

Finally
, the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
available in the machine such as music, videos and games acts as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are mentally tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the hectic study schedule. Laptops can
also
act as an excellent travel companion whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
commute in flights which has a longer travel duration.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are tomorrow's leaders.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I accept, the computer in the hands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to spread their wings and embrace victory in the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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