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Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. v. 2
Nowadays, computer is one of the inseparable parts of the world, which has influenced the life of young children. There are some benefits and drawback for utilizing computers by teenagers, however, some people think that the advantage of them on youngsters are more than disadvantage. I personally disagree with the given statement basis of development of technologies and learning how to struggle with real life problems. To begin with, the main reason is that the progress of technology is a determining factor for the youth to use computer. The effect of computer is undeniable on our life, because not only new technologies depend on computer, but next generation technologies are more likely to be computer base. Therefore, The more knowledge about computer base sciences, The easier to be well-known about computer base world. Take achieving to rewarding job opportunity in the future as an example; children may need to have update knowledge about high-tech computers, which more likely to come to market in future. Bing has updated just only possible to involve with current computers. Hence, if children want to be successful in their life, they should use computer as a daily base and part of their life. Having said that, however, development of technology is not the only factor in this respect, another argument for the positive effect of computer on children is that children can take in to solve real life problems when they employ computers. Notwithstanding the time youngsters spend on using computer, there are several aptitudes that they learn them very well, taking time to learn them in real life. For instance, by playing some puzzle base games, teenagers can learn how to manage the problems, which they would encounter with them. The benefits of games are that children could struggle with hard situations and stressful problem, So, they have to solve them or lose the game. Therefore, They will not loss themselves if they face with some stressful issues in real life, because of the fact that children already experienced it on computer. TO conclude, I personally take the view that it is unacceptable to think downside effects of computer on young people. This is mainly because computer can have upside effects such as well-known with high-tech knowledge and develop their selves to face with real life problems. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to fear from negative impressions of computers on should not band them to use of them.
Nowadays, computer is one of the inseparable parts of the world, which has influenced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawback for utilizing computers by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the advantage of them on youngsters are more than disadvantage. I
personally
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement basis of development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and learning how to struggle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason is that the progress of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a determining factor for the youth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of computer is undeniable on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
depend on computer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
next
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are more likely to be computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
.
Therefore
, The more knowledge about computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
sciences, The easier to be well-known about computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
world. Take achieving to rewarding job opportunity in the future as an example;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may need to have update knowledge about high-tech computers, which more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to market
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Bing has updated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible to involve with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
computers.
Hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to be successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer as a daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
and part of their life.

Having said that,
however
, development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor in this respect, another argument for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of computer on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can take in to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
when they employ computers. Notwithstanding the time youngsters spend on using computer, there are several aptitudes that they learn them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well, taking time to learn them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, by playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "puzzles"?
puzzle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
games,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can learn how to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, which they would encounter with them. The benefits of games are that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could struggle with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situations and stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve them or lose the game.
Therefore
, They will not
"loss" is a noun. Did you mean the verb "lose" (= 'to lose')?
loss
themselves if they face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stressful issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
already experienced it on computer.

TO conclude
, I
personally
take the view that it is unacceptable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
downside effects of computer on young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computer can have upside effects such
as well
-known with high-tech knowledge and develop their selves to face with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to fear from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impressions of computers on should not band them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of them.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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