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Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. v. 2
In today's modern world, computers are an essential part of everyday life. Around the globe, children often use computers from a very young age. Although it is important for children to participate in various well-balanced activities, in my opinion, children who use the computer daily are actually developing a critical skill for future success. The bases for my views are personal, academic, and professional. From a personal point of view, computers are an invaluable resource to help young people explore the world around them. For example, children who use Internet to satisfy their curiosity about diverse topics are already becoming independent learners. No child with a computer is ever bored! By starting early in their lives, children feel totally at ease around computers; they are also able to take advantage of the wide range of services computers provide. From an academic viewpoint, children have no choice but to master this technological invention. For instance, when I was in university, students brought their laptops to class to take notes, do research and exchange information. They wrote assignments, created presentations and developed databases. Children who build early confidence and experience in these abilities are at a distinct advantage over those who have not. From a professional perspective, the computer has found a permanent place in the workplace. Today, employers still pay to provide computer training to their employees. Tomorrow, corporations will expect prospective job applicants to already possess these critical job skills. Consequently, parents who encourage their child to use the computer for a reasonable period of time daily are in fact investing in the child's future career. In conclusion, there is no doubt that the computer as a technological tool is here to stay. The sooner children become computer-literate, the better for many aspects of their future lives.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world, computers are an essential part of everyday life. Around the globe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age. Although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in various well-balanced activities, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer daily are actually developing a critical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for future success. The bases for my views are personal, academic, and professional.

From a personal point of view, computers are an invaluable resource to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
explore the world around them.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Internet to satisfy their curiosity about diverse topics are already becoming independent learners. No child with a computer is ever bored! By starting early in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel
totally
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
around computers; they are
also
able to take advantage of the wide range of services computers provide.

From an academic viewpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to master this technological invention.
For instance
, when I was in university, students brought their laptops to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to take notes, do research and exchange information. They wrote assignments, created presentations and developed databases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
build early confidence and experience in these abilities are at a distinct advantage over those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have not.

From a professional perspective, the computer has found a permanent place in the workplace.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, employers
still
pay to provide computer training to their employees. Tomorrow, corporations will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
prospective job applicants to already possess these critical job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Consequently
, parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
encourage their child to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer for a reasonable period of time daily are in fact investing in the child's future career.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt that the computer as a technological tool is here to stay. The sooner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become computer-literate, the better for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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