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Usages of the internet and smartphones have become a global phenomenon

Usages of the internet and smartphones have become a global phenomenon 705yn
Usages of the internet and smartphones have become a global phenomenon, and we depend on these technological marvels one way or another. While some people assert that the widespread use of internet communication and mobile phones will replace the traditional form of face to face interaction, I completely disagree with this view. To begin with, the use of the internet and other latest communication technologies drive us to meet new people and contact the dear ones who stay far away. This can especially be true when one gets a chance to express his or her feelings via a text or phone call. To quote an example, Skype and Facebook have enabled people living in far-flung areas to communicate effectively through video chats, thereby enabling us to contact more frequently with people we care about. This has not replaced the way we care and meet others, rather it has made it more convenient and frequent. While the advancement of technology might scale back in personal contact to some extent for the short term, it, in fact, enables people to become more polarised towards seeing siblings, parents and mates in the long run. This can be easily visualised by taking into account that if we are to sustain the internet as a tool to deliver our emotions and beliefs to the world, we will need to picture proof gatherings, celebrations and events thereby obviating the need for face to face communication. Secondly, the human is a social being, and it is to the credit of this physical presence that we as a species are able to harness long-term relationships, so its value cannot be undermined. Mere endorsing words of good character by texts cannot inculcate the right kind of virtue, thereby further laying emphasis on human presence for the future is required. To conclude, by seeing both sides of the spectrum, it is clearly evident that the internet and text messaging will not make the face to face communication a footnote of the past.
Usages of the internet and smartphones have become a global phenomenon, and we depend on these technological marvels one way or another. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that the widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet communication and mobile phones will replace the traditional form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
interaction, I completely disagree with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet and other latest communication technologies drive us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and contact the dear ones who stay far away. This can
especially
be true when one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a chance to express
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
feelings via a text or phone call. To quote an example, Skype and Facebook have enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in far-flung areas to communicate
effectively
through video chats, thereby enabling us to contact more
frequently
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we care about. This has not replaced the way we care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
others,
rather
it has made it more convenient and frequent.

While the advancement of technology might scale back in personal contact to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent for the short term, it, in fact, enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become more
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
towards seeing siblings, parents and mates in the long run. This can be
easily
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualised' is British English.
visualised
by taking into account that if we are to sustain the internet as a tool to deliver our emotions and beliefs to the world, we will need to picture proof gatherings, celebrations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
thereby obviating the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
communication.

Secondly
, the human is a social being, and it is to the credit of this physical presence that we as a species are able to harness long-term relationships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its value cannot
be undermined
. Mere endorsing words of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
character by texts cannot inculcate the right kind of virtue, thereby
further
laying emphasis on human presence for the future
is required
.

To conclude
, by seeing both sides of the spectrum, it is
clearly
evident that the internet and text messaging will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
communication a footnote of the past.
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IELTS essay Usages of the internet and smartphones have become a global phenomenon

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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