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if the whole societ do volunteer work

if the whole societ do volunteer work ewKdJ
When the distinction between rich and poor is more clear in modern society, besides those who discriminate, there are also groups of people and communities with kind hearts who regularly do charity to help the poor and the homeless but not significantly. So, what if everyone in all communities be kind and always do charity activities? People these day only care about the finance, money without caring other people. They will only help someone if they can give them benefits in the future. Because of that, they would never donate anything to poor people but among these guys, there are still some people with kind hearts ready to give thing they can to the poors. This volunteer could lead to some great benefits not only to the people who volunteer and the recievers but also the whole society. These actions could make a huge inspiration to the next generation about the thing they can receive if they do charity activities. They might not receive anything value but they gain back the respect of poor and everyone in the society along with that is some good relationships. Not only that, these action can help you learn new skills in communication, be more confident and make clearly changes inside yourself. In conclusion, when the whole society include yourself do volunteer work, it would make a great changes not only to the society but also to the people be a part of that society, make changes about the behaviors and the quality of your and their own life.
When the distinction between rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
besides
those who discriminate, there are
also
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and communities with kind hearts who
regularly
do charity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and the homeless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
significantly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what if everyone in all communities be kind and always do charity activities?

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
care about the finance, money without caring other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
someone if they can give them benefits in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, they would never donate anything to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
among these guys, there are
still
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
some


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
with kind hearts ready to give thing they can to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
poors
.

This volunteer could lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
great benefits not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who volunteer and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
recievers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. These actions could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a huge inspiration to the
next
generation about the thing they can receive if they do charity activities. They might not receive anything value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they gain back the respect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
along with
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
that, these action can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in communication, be more confident and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
inside yourself.

In conclusion
, when the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
include yourself do volunteer work, it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be a part of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
about the behaviors and the quality of your and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.
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IELTS essay if the whole societ do volunteer work

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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