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urbanisation , people are moving citiies to villages serious problems . serious problems associated with it ?

urbanisation, people are moving citiies to villages serious problems. serious problems associated with it? DledE
Urbanisation is indisputably one of the serious concerns of the 21st century. The migration of rural communities to metropolitan cities in search for job opportunities and a high-fly lifestyle will have serious ramifications on both the rural and urban areas of the country. Cities will become overpopulated if people start moving away from the countryside in search of a job.  As a result,  there will be a dramatic increase in pollution, which will deteriorate public health. Moreover, skyrocketing population will reduce the job opportunities available for the residents of the city, leading to a surge in the unemployment rate of the locality. Villages are also equally impacted by the migration as they have a diminishing workforce to cater to the services of their society. to exemplify the situation, most of the government sector jobs in the rural districts of India are bacon because most of the educated residents flock to Cosmopolitan cities in search of high-paying jobs and an affluent lifestyle. To stem the situation, the government must improve the job opportunities in the villages. This can be done by encouraging the multinational organisations to invest in such places in exchange for a monetary benefit which they do not even the cities as a result of new jobs will be created in rural areas and thereby, discouraging the individuals to move towards cities. Secondly, promoting start-up companies along with incentives and benefits would motivate the educated population of rural areas to become entrepreneurs. This would in turn drop the migration to large cities precipitously. to conclude, the government should create job opportunities equally in cities and rural areas so that people do not leave their home town in search of a job. Consequently, this will also minimise the problems associated with migration.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Urbanisation' is British English.
Urbanisation
is
indisputably
one of the serious concerns of the 21st century. The migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
communities to metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
search
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and a high-
fly
lifestyle will have serious ramifications on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
and urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the country.

Cities will become overpopulated if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
moving away from the countryside in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
search
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.  As a result,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
there will be a dramatic increase in pollution, which will deteriorate public health.
Moreover
, skyrocketing population will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
available for the residents of the city, leading to a surge in the unemployment rate of the locality. Villages are
also
equally
 impacted by the migration as they have a diminishing workforce to cater to the services of their society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
exemplify the situation, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
districts of India are bacon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the educated residents flock to Cosmopolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
search
of high-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and an affluent lifestyle.

To stem the situation, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in the villages. This can
be done
by encouraging the multinational
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
to invest in such places in exchange for a monetary benefit which they do not even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as a result
of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will
be created
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and thereby, discouraging the individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Secondly
, promoting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
along with incentives and benefits would motivate the educated population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to become entrepreneurs. This would in turn drop the migration to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
precipitously
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
equally
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home town in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
search
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Consequently
, this will
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the problems associated with migration.
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IELTS essay urbanisation, people are moving citiies to villages serious problems. serious problems associated with it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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