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Do you think the advantages of tourism is outweigh it's disadvantages

Do you think the advantages of tourism is outweigh it's disadvantages PVadg
In the modern era, tourism has become a vast source of income for many countries. however, there are far more significant benefits than drawbacks which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. The primary major advantage is that it helps to boost the economy level of countries because when tourist visit another place they spend lot of money on transport, restaurants, accomodation and many other resources as well. One of the specific example is Thailand where every year, the large numbers of people visited there, they give preference mostly that country than other countries. because there are many tourism attractions which attracts the tourist. Therefore, the financial level of that nation is more strong. On the contrary, tourism use as their primary source of income. Another predominant benefit is that tourism helps to reduce unemployment problem. Owing to the fact that tourism is responsible for generating numerous jobs within a country, which is provide number of job opportunities for the local communities. Shifting towards it negative side, traffic congestion is paramount disadvantage. It is commonly seen that when tourist go any place and they want to see all the well known destination, they use their private vehicles for safety purpose. As a result, traffic jam can be seen on roads. for example, In delhi, traffic problem faced by people on roads because there is an international airport and many foreign tourist use vehicle to comings and goings. Hence, there everyday, traffic jam faced by local individuals. To conclude, tourism has a negative side but it has a extremely positive outcomes such as incline economy and job options. In my opinion, its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.
In the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become a vast source of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, there are far more significant benefits than drawbacks which will
be discussed
in upcoming paragraphs.

The primary major advantage is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost the economy level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
visit another place they spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money on transport, restaurants,
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other resources
as well
. One of the specific example is Thailand where every year, the large numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited there, they give preference
mostly
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
attractions which attracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
.
Therefore
, the financial level of that nation is more strong.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as their primary source of income.

Another predominant benefit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment problem. Owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is responsible for generating numerous jobs within a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which is
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
number of job opportunities for the local communities.

Shifting towards it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion is paramount disadvantage. It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
go any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
place and
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all the well known destination, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their private vehicles for safety purpose.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on roads.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, In
Possible spelling mistake found.
delhi
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problem faced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is an international airport and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
vehicle to comings and goings.
Hence
, there
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam faced by local individuals.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes such as incline economy and job options. In my opinion, its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Do you think the advantages of tourism is outweigh it's disadvantages

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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