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Some people think that to succeed, the only thing one needs is talent. Others disagree, saying that hard work is more important than talent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that to succeed, the only thing one needs is talent. Others disagree, saying that hard work is more important than talent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion RNaMo
No one can deny that everybody wants to be successful. Some people argue that success comes only with talent while, others believe that hard work is what pays off to be a successful person. This essay will outline both view points in detail and show that indeed, hard work is ultimately superior to be successful in subsequent paragraphs. Talent is certainly important for being successful as it makes the path easier and decreases the struggles. People with god gifted talents or skills can definitely success in the short amount of time. It saves the time as quick results could be formed. For an instance, singers with god gifted melodious voice become more successful in the short duration of time as they easily stand out from the crowd and get all the publicity. Therefore it goes without saying that talent plays a key role in becoming successful. Conversely, not everyone is born with talents. People who are not only focused to their goal but also work day and night in achieving the outcome can become successful. Moreover, a person with skills and talent can only make full use of his qualities by consistent efforts. For instance, a non talented person who is determined in becoming a successful dancer can become successful if he is open to learning and consistent hard work. In short, strong determined mind who is ready for hardwork can become successful. To recapitulate, talent makes it slight easier but with hardwork, any person can be successful. This essay discussed the importance of talent and hard work in order to be successful. In my opinion, hardwork is what makes a person successful because making full use of talent requires hard work and determination. Success only comes to those who strive for it by working hard.
No one can deny that everybody wants to be
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successful
.
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Some
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people
argue that success
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comes
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only
with
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talent
while, others believe that
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hard
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work
is what pays off to be a
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successful
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person
. This essay will outline both view points in detail and
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show
that
indeed
,
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hard
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work
is
ultimately
superior to be
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successful
in subsequent paragraphs.

Talent is
certainly
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important
for being
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successful
as it
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makes
the path easier and decreases the struggles.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
with god gifted
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talents
or
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skills
can definitely success in the short amount of time. It saves the time as quick results could
be formed
. For an instance, singers with god gifted melodious voice
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become
more
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successful
in the short duration of time as they
easily
stand out from the crowd and
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get
all the publicity.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it goes without saying that
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talent
plays a key role in becoming successful.

Conversely
, not everyone
is born
with
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talents
.
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People
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who
are not
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only
focused to their goal
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but
also
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work
day and night in achieving the outcome can
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become
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successful
.
Moreover
, a
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person
with
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skills
and
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talent
can
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only
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make
full
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use
of his qualities by consistent efforts.

For instance
, a
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non talented
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person
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who
is determined
in becoming a
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successful
dancer can
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become
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successful
if he is open to learning and consistent
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hard
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work
. In short, strong determined mind
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who
is ready for
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hardwork
can
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become
successful.

To recapitulate,
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talent
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makes
it slight easier
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but
with
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hardwork
, any
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person
can be
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successful
. This essay discussed the importance of
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talent
and
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hard
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work
in order to be
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successful
. In my opinion,
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hardwork
is what
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makes
a
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person
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successful
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because
making full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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talent
requires
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hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and determination. Success
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only
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comes
to those
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who
strive for it by working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that to succeed, the only thing one needs is talent. Others disagree, saying that hard work is more important than talent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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