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Unpaid community service to be included compulsory in the school programs for the children

Unpaid community service to be included compulsory in the school programs for the children bYxDg
In the past few year’s many people have come up with news ideas to serve their country or community, one such idea is implementing compulsory unpaid service to the school curriculum. Now, an question arose, Is this a good idea to make it compulsory? I will discuss both the sides of the arguments and align my views in the following paragraph. Firstly, proponents who sided that it is a good idea to include unpaid community service in school compulsory activities, they think it will help the children at young age self awareness about the societies current status and problems people are facing on daily basis. It will help them understand the society. For instance, many activities like helping poor people, cleaning up the streets, planting tress, arranging awareness rallies for some good cause will make children socially active and helps develop team work, leadership qualities. All this qualities may not be usefull in improving the academic area but it definetly builds up the character at young age. As much as I agree with the view, making it compulsory is a bit harsh on the schools children as they already have so much on their plate. Recently, due to growing standards and competitions in the academic field few subjects has been added to their curriculum. So, focusing on the studies is also very important and distribution of time for other activities is a difficult task. There are other methods to encourage children for community services, like it can be practiced occasionally. And arranging a small group of children from each school or classes interested can participate, which will increase the number of students. To conclude, despite some advantages, unpaid services should not be a compulsory activity at schools. As their mind is already occupied with the subjects. Besides compulsory other methods can be used to encouraged children.
In the past few year’s
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with news
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ideas
to serve their country or community, one such
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idea
is implementing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
unpaid
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service
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
question arose, Is this a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
? I will discuss both the sides of the arguments and align my views in the following paragraph.

Firstly
, proponents who sided that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
to include unpaid community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at young age self awareness about the societies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
status and problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are facing on daily basis. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them understand the society.
For instance
,
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many
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activities
like helping poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, cleaning up the streets, planting tress, arranging awareness rallies for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
cause will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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children
socially
active and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
develop team work, leadership qualities. All this qualities may not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
in improving the academic area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
definetly
builds up the character at young age.

As much as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view, making it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
is a bit harsh on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they already have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much on their plate. Recently, due to growing standards and competitions in the academic field few subjects has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to their curriculum.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, focusing on the studies is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and distribution of time for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is a difficult task. There are other methods to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, like it can
be practiced
occasionally
. And arranging a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or classes interested can participate, which will increase the number of students.

To conclude
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should not be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
their mind is already occupied with the subjects.
Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
other methods can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Unpaid community service to be included compulsory in the school programs for the children

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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