Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

child obesity is a growing problem in our society. some people think it is the governments fault, while others believe it is the parents fault

child obesity is a growing problem in our society. some people think it is the governments fault, while others believe it is the parents fault 6xa68
Child obesity is a growing problem in modern society. Some people believe that it is the government's responsibility, while others think it is the fault of the parents, but with the increasing child obesity we need to find a solution. In my opinion, I believe that both sides share a part of the problem. The new technology offers the luxury of doing things with. For example, nowadays if parents tell their children to go buy groceries from the store they just use their mobile phones to order a delivery for the groceries without making any effort, which, of course, helps them gain weight. The parents leave their children stay indoors for most of the time, contributing to the problem of obesity. For the government's share of the problem, I believe that they must do more outdoor activities, events, and more social interactions. they can, for instance, build some new parks for kids to play in, host sports events that allow children to participate in, include more physical education periods in schools, etc. Providing medical support can also contribute to the cause: making free or cheap consultations for children to tell them about the things they can do to improve their health. But is that enough? Is just doing every party its part of the job enough? Should the two parties not contribute more to the cause? I, in my opinion, answer these questions with a no. No, it is not enough doing every party its part. Parents should encourage their children to go play outside and use the government's facilities, and governments should take care of, improve, and build new facilities to help demolish the obesity problem. In conclusion, anyone who can help overcome this children's health problem must contribute, so society can improve for the best.
Child obesity is a growing
problem
in modern society.
Some
people
believe that it is the
government
's responsibility, while others
think
it is the fault of the
parents
,
but
with the increasing child obesity we need to find a solution. In my opinion, I believe that both sides share a part of the problem.

The new technology offers the luxury of doing things with.
For example
, nowadays if
parents
tell
their
children
to go
buy
groceries from the store they
just
use
their mobile phones to order a delivery for the groceries without making any effort, which,
of course
,
helps
them gain weight. The
parents
leave
their
children
stay indoors for most of the time, contributing to the
problem
of obesity.

For the
government
's share of the
problem
, I believe that they
must
do more outdoor activities,
events
, and more social interactions.
they
can,
for instance
, build
some
new parks for kids to play in, host sports
events
that
allow
children
to participate in, include more physical education periods in schools, etc. Providing medical support can
also
contribute to the cause: making free or
cheap
consultations for
children
to
tell
them about the things they can do to
improve
their health.

But
is that
enough
? Is
just
doing every party its part of the job
enough
? Should the two parties not contribute more to the cause? I, in my opinion, answer these questions with a no. No, it is not
enough
doing every party its part.
Parents
should encourage their
children
to go play outside and
use
the
government
's facilities, and
governments
should take care of,
improve
, and build new facilities to
help
demolish the obesity problem.

In conclusion
, anyone who can
help
overcome
this
children's health
problem
must
contribute,
so
society can
improve
for the best.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay child obesity is a growing problem in our society. some people think it is the governments fault, while others believe it is the parents fault

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts