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University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v.18

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 18
More and more students are opting to travel to foreign countries in order to pursue further studies. In my opinion, I think that the benefits of studying abroad clearly surpasses any drawbacks. There are many reasons why people choose to study overseas. Firstly, students move to alien countries for studies in order to improve their chances of getting good jobs. In other words, they choose to travel to a country with a stable economy. Thus, after completion of their studies, they could get a high paying job. Secondly, people relocate to a foreign land for their education because of a search for a better standard of education. This means that people move to schools outside of their country to improve their skills and knowledge. For example, the Daily Times reported that 80% of the workforce in the UK are foreigners. However, there are setbacks that could arise from people leaving their land for studies. One of such problems is that students studying abroad may become separated from their families for a very long time. This is because these students live in countries that are far away from their homeland. As a result, many of these students may become homesick and feel the inner depression of being torn apart from their families. On the contrary, the presence of social media such as Facebook, Skype e. t. c. , has brought about ways of connecting people from all over the world. In conclusion, despite the fact there are obvious challenges people face when they choose to study abroad, these are overshadowed by the benefits of studying in foreign countries. A student should weigh the good and the bad sides before deciding to travel for higher studies.
More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are opting to travel to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to pursue
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the benefits of studying abroad
clearly
surpasses any drawbacks.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
overseas.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to alien
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their chances of getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs.
In other words
, they choose to travel to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a stable economy.
Thus
, after completion of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high paying job.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relocate to a foreign land for their education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a search for a better standard of education. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to schools
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge.
For example
, the Daily Times reported that 80% of the workforce in the UK are foreigners.

However
, there are setbacks that could arise from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leaving their land for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. One of such problems is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying abroad may become separated from their families for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that are far away from their homeland.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may become homesick and feel the inner depression of
being torn
apart from their families.
On the contrary
, the presence of social media such as Facebook, Skype e. t. c.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
has brought about ways of connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world.

In conclusion
, despite the fact there are obvious challenges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face when they choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
abroad, these
are overshadowed
by the benefits of studying in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should weigh the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding to travel for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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