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University education is essential for young people

University education is essential for young people awlgG
Nowadays almost all teenagers are provided with an opportunity to enter a university. While some people feel that earning a degree is crucial in our times, others believe that there are different ways to achieve success in life for the youth. In my opinion, getting a university diploma is essential for anyone who can afford it. To start with, higher education broadens one's mind as all applicants are going to learn various subjects and deal with complex ideas. Furthermore, a busy learning schedule requires students to be disciplined and therefore may be considered as a challenge for many of them. On the other hand, some people claim that higher education is too expensive for families with low incomes. Therefore it is not worth its price and the young should start working as soon as they can to earn enough money and experience. Nonetheless, I do not support this argument. The career opportunities provided by universities are tremendous. Moreover, educational loans and grants are available for this type of students. All things considered, I feel that entering a university is a thing that cannot be replaced with working experience. Not only will the young people gain many useful skills, but also enrich their knowledge.
Nowadays almost all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are provided
with an opportunity to enter a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that earning a degree is crucial in our times, others believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to achieve success in life for the youth.

In my opinion, getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
diploma is essential for anyone who can afford it. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, higher education broadens one's mind as all applicants are going to learn various subjects and deal with complex
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Furthermore
, a busy learning schedule requires students to
be disciplined
and
therefore
may
be considered
as a challenge for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that higher education is too expensive for families with low incomes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is not worth its price and the young should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they can to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money and experience.

Nonetheless, I do not support this argument. The career opportunities provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are tremendous.
Moreover
, educational loans and grants are available for this type of students.

All things considered, I feel that entering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a thing that cannot
be replaced
with working experience. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enrich their knowledge.

IELTS essay University education is essential for young people

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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