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Some peole think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. Other people think that government should focus on social services such as health and education programs. Which statement do you agree with? Explain and provide examples to support your opinion.

Some peole think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. Other people think that government should focus on social services such as health and education programs. Which statement do you agree with? Explain and provide examples to support your opinion. ljLrQ
People have many different opinions about how the national authorities should measure their countries’ progress. While I agree with the idea that economic progress is seen as a fundamental goal for governments, I support the other idea that social services like medical care and schooling programs are just as important. On the one hand, I support the idea that economic growth is one of the government’s great ambitions for several reasons. Firstly, economic progress will help the authorities to allocate a larger amount of money to social security. For example, a government with higher revenues can invest many national budgets in the country's education system and hospitals. Secondly, a healthy economy will contribute to a lower unemployment rate and many high-paying jobs for all citizens. Finally, a strong economy can help a country’s standing on the global stage, in terms of its political influence and trading power. On the other hand, I believe that social services such as health care and education are just as significant as the economic factors mentioned above. To put it another way, a government is created by the taxes from valuable workforces of their country. Therefore, the state has the responsibility to offer them free health care facilities and teaching programs. Additionally, the benefit of improving the medical services and the learning system is that this would produce good citizens. If a country has many well-educated and healthy residents, this will bring considerable benefits to the government, especially the economic prosperity. In conclusion, while I believe that economic growth is one of the Governments’ primary goals, I support the idea that training and health criteria are equally significant.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about how the national authorities should measure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
progress. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a fundamental goal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, I support the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
that social services like medical care and schooling programs are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand, I support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
great ambitions for several reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the authorities to allocate a larger amount of money to social security.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
with higher revenues can invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
national budgets in the country's education system and hospitals.
Secondly
, a healthy economy will contribute to a lower unemployment rate and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high-paying jobs for all citizens.
Finally
, a strong economy can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
standing on the global stage, in terms of its political influence and trading power.

On the other hand
, I believe that social services such as health care and education are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as significant as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
factors mentioned above. To put it another way, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is created
by the taxes from valuable
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, the state has the responsibility to offer them free health care facilities and teaching programs.
Additionally
, the benefit of improving the medical services and the learning system is that this would produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
well-educated and healthy residents, this will bring considerable benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
prosperity.

In conclusion
, while I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments’
primary goals, I support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
that training and health criteria are
equally
significant.

IELTS essay Some peole think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. Other people think that government should focus on social services such as health and education programs. Which statement do you agree with? Explain and provide examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
9.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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