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university degree or work experience

university degree or work experience WGlXN
As Known, a university degree is important in gaining experience and knowledge, but can you find the same job chances if you take a shortcut and work straight after high school? As noticed people with a university degree feel have more self-confidence than individuals who do not. Moreover, because of that piece of paper it can consequently open a whole door to new opportunities. For an instance, companies that have jobs that requires taking risks they would choose a student with a degree so that they make the best choices for the company. Furthermore, because it can cost a lot of time and effort, it can cause stress and frustration to students. As noticed during med-terms and finals. On contrast, we have individuals who start their work experience straight after high school. As people think, because they have no degree, this group feels more self-conscious rather than confident. For an instance, because some work facilities do not accept workers without a university degree, it makes them feel useless. Although, it makes individuals uneducated, it can save time, effort and gain experience in the job market. For example, cashiers who do not have a university degree they are able to interact with different people, which helps get experience in social life. Finally, I would say although university degree is an important aspect, it is not an issue if you could not fulfil your dream and get one. After all, if we had the same education levels and wishes, we would all work in the same job.
As Known, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can you find the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
chances if you take a shortcut and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
straight after high school?

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
noticed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
feel have more self-confidence than individuals who do not.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that piece of paper it can
consequently
open a whole door to new opportunities. For an instance,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that requires taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
they would choose a student with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best choices for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and effort, it can cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and frustration to students. As noticed during med-terms and finals.

On contrast, we have individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
straight after high school. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, this group feels more self-conscious
rather
than confident. For an instance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
facilities do not accept workers without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel useless. Although, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individuals uneducated, it can save time, effort and gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.
For example
, cashiers who do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
they are able to interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in social life.

Finally
, I would say although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect, it is not an issue if you could not fulfil your dream and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one.
After all
, if we had the same education levels and wishes, we would all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay university degree or work experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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