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universities should choose equal number of male and female students in each course

universities should choose equal number of male and female students in each course pKw69
Broadly speaking, education is equally important for both male and female. Universities play vital role for the career building of students. There are myriad of fields to explore and work on. However, universities need to focus on developing and enhancing the expertise of students on the basis of their intellectual abilities. In my point of view, it is somehow impractical to accept equal proportion of male and female students in every subject. First and foremost, in general certain courses and areas of work are more feasible for females and vice versa. For instance, women are generally interested to take up arts, fashion, designing and nursing courses adequately. On the other hand, men are more drawn towards construction, engineering and aeronautical fields. Moreover, it is incumbent to fill courses equally for both genders in terms of time and cost. Balancing number of men and women will take longer time, applications and procedure. Furthermore, students should be given admission on merit according to their academic record, intelligence and abilities. Such as if a student is capable to get a place in a specific course, it will be inappropriate to reject him/her on the basis of gender. On the contrary, some people believe that equal opportunities should be given to male and female students in each course. Firstly, it is irrational that particular subjects are segregated to certain gender. Like, in medical females tend to go for Cosmetology, Skin and Gynecology. And it leads to fewer positions for males. Secondly, probability of gender discrimination will be lessening in course and class. Finally, when women will get a chance to study every course it will help them to explore more and work in different areas. In summation, as far as my opinion is concerned it is purported that ideally it is not feasible to fill up equal number of male and female students in each course, as it depends on the availability of students, their qualification and interest. Thus every students should be given admission on merit.
Broadly
speaking, education is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for both male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
. Universities play vital role for the career building of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. There are myriad of fields to explore and work on.
However
, universities need to focus on developing and enhancing the expertise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
on the basis of their intellectual abilities. In my point of view, it is somehow impractical to accept equal proportion of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in every subject.

First
and foremost,
in general
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and areas of work are more feasible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
and vice versa.
For instance
, women are
generally
interested to take up arts, fashion, designing and nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
adequately
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are more drawn towards construction, engineering and aeronautical fields.
Moreover
, it is incumbent to fill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
equally
for both genders in terms of time and cost. Balancing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women will take longer time, applications and procedure.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
admission on merit according to their academic record, intelligence and abilities. Such as if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a place in a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, it will be inappropriate to reject him/her on the basis of gender.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that equal opportunities should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Firstly
, it is irrational that particular subjects
are segregated
to certain gender. Like, in medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
tend to go for Cosmetology, Skin and Gynecology. And it leads to fewer positions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
Secondly
, probability of gender discrimination will be lessening in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Finally
, when women will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to study every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to explore more and work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas.

In summation, as far as my opinion
is concerned
it
is purported
that
ideally
it is not feasible to fill up equal number of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, as it depends on the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, their qualification and interest.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "student"?
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
admission on merit.
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IELTS essay universities should choose equal number of male and female students in each course

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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