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In many developing countries of the world more and more multinational companies are being built. What are advantages and disadvantages ?

In many developing countries of the world more and more multinational companies are being built. What are advantages and disadvantages? 73ea2
In today's world of globalization, a growing number of transnational corporations are being established in a lot of underdeveloped countries. Doubtlessly, it can bring benefit for both enterprises and host countries with permanent jobs and transofrmation of latest technology. But, on the other hand, strong market competition and the extra consumption of natural resources can be one of the main drawbacks in some cases. As multinational companies have been increased in number and appeared in nearly all points of the world, they create a great job opportunities for local people. Moreover, these corporations can have a positive effect on the technological advancement of a country via investing a large capital to bring modern equipment. Due to the aformentioned factors, the economic condition of the country might grow which can lead to the rise in the number of financially well families. As a result of strong competition between international corporations and local companies, the latter might face several hardships. Numerous consumers can choose foreign products because of their better quality and lower price. It can lead to the profit reduction of the local vendors, and in some cases, it cause to the bankruptcy. Apart from this, as establishing the branch companies and manufacturing goods or materials require a vast amount of raw materials require a vast amount of resources, it can serves as one of the main disadvantages. Because several natural resources, for instance, oil, coal, natural gas are limited resources and extra utilization of them by factories can cause numerous inevitable consequences including ecological changes. According to the recent studies, by 2050, a vast number of creatures will extinct as a result of extra using the resources continuously which causes deforestation, desertification and greenhouse effect. Multinational companies undoubtedly have a various positive impact on the development of a state, but at the same time, could bring several serious issues.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world of globalization, a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of transnational corporations are
being established
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Doubtlessly
, it can bring benefit for both enterprises and host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with permanent jobs and
Possible spelling mistake found.
transofrmation
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
on the other hand
, strong market competition and the extra consumption of natural resources can be one of the main drawbacks in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. As multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
been increased
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
and appeared in
nearly
all points of the world, they create a great job opportunities for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Moreover
, these corporations can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the technological advancement of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
via investing a large capital to bring modern equipment. Due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aformentioned
factors, the economic condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
might grow which can lead to the rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
financially
well families.
As a result
of strong competition between international corporations and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, the latter might face several hardships. Numerous consumers can choose foreign products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their better quality and lower price. It can lead to the profit reduction of the local vendors, and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, it
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
to the bankruptcy. Apart from this, as establishing the branch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
or materials require a vast amount of raw materials require a vast amount of resources, it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "serve"
serves
as one of the main disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
several natural resources,
for instance
, oil, coal, natural gas
are limited
resources and extra utilization of them by factories can cause numerous inevitable
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "including". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences including
ecological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. According to the recent studies, by 2050, a vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of creatures will extinct
as a result
of extra using the resources
continuously
which causes deforestation, desertification and greenhouse effect. Multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
undoubtedly
have a various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the development of a state,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, could bring several serious issues.
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IELTS essay In many developing countries of the world more and more multinational companies are being built. What are advantages and disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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